tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43296636945587655592024-02-07T21:56:55.385-08:00We Survived The TeensRamblings And Reminiscences Of A CrazyWisdom GrandmaPammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-39712260371731052432009-04-22T14:16:00.000-07:002009-04-22T14:23:32.939-07:00The Fresh Air Fund...Good StuffI was recently emailed by a kind woman who turned me onto a program which looks wonderful. It's called <a href="http://freshair-newsrelease.com/">The Fresh Air Fund.</a> From their press release:<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">In 2008, The Fresh Air Fund's Volunteer Host Family Program, called Friendly Town, gave close to 5,000 New York City boys and girls, ages six to 18, free summer experiences in the country and the suburbs. Volunteer host families shared their friendship and homes for two weeks or more in 13 Northeastern states from Virginia to Maine and Canada.</span></blockquote>They are in need of host families for this year. Please go visit their site and if you feel so inclined, and live in the designated region, please consider opening your heart and home to a child for a few weeks this summer.<br /><br />Thanks!<br /><br /><a href="http://freshair.org/donate.aspx" title="Donate to The Fresh Air Fund and change a child's life forever"><img title="Donate to The Fresh Air Fund and change a child's life forever" src="http://freshair.smnr.us/images/fafDonate728x90.png" border="0" /></a>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-1124982272448906452009-04-09T08:42:00.000-07:002009-04-09T08:48:36.135-07:00Wellll....I've always said I should get a government grant to study the obvious: breastfeeding's good for kids, sugar and fake sugar aren't. If your child has repeat ear infections, perhaps you might want to look at food allergies instead of antibiotics.<br /><br />And now <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20090408/sc_livescience/kidscurbmaritalsatisfaction">here's another </a>Captain Obvious one. It appears that now it's true that having kids puts a strain on a relationship. Now we know that. Finally.<br /><br />Geez.....<br /><br /><br />Here's the article in case it goes away:<br /><br /><cite class="vcard"><span class="fn org"><a href="http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/livescience/sc_livescience/byline/kidscurbmaritalsatisfaction/31595687/sig=10sog4vj6/*http://www.livescience.com">livescience.com</a></span> </cite> – <abbr title="2009-04-08T12:20:04-0700" class="timedate">Wed Apr 8, 3:20 pm ET</abbr> <!-- end .byline --> <p> Parents all know that children make it harder to do some of the most enjoyable adult things. Bluntly put, kids can get between you. </p> <p> Now scientists have attached some numbers to the situation. </p> <p> An eight-year study of 218 couples found 90 percent experienced a decrease in marital satisfaction once the first child was born. </p> <p> "Couples who do not have <a href="http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/livescience/sc_livescience/storytext/kidscurbmaritalsatisfaction/31595687/SIG=11b9bmehe/*http://www.livescience.com/topic/children"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1239218439_0">children</span></a> also show diminished <a href="http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/livescience/sc_livescience/storytext/kidscurbmaritalsatisfaction/31595687/SIG=11su6t9ma/*http://www.livescience.com/health/070213_mediocre_sex.html">marital quality</a> over time," says Scott Stanley, research professor of psychology at <span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1239218439_1">University of Denver</span>. "However, having a baby accelerates the deterioration, especially seen during periods of adjustment right after the birth of a child." </p> <p> An unrelated study in 2006 of 13,000 people found <a href="http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/livescience/sc_livescience/storytext/kidscurbmaritalsatisfaction/31595687/SIG=1218dk78v/*http://www.livescience.com/health/060207_parent_depression.html"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1239218439_2">parents are more depressed</span></a> than non-parents. Scientists speculate that the problem is partly a modern one, because parents don't get as much help at home as they did in previous generations. </p> <p> There are key variables to note in the new study. </p> <p> Couples who lived together before marriage experienced more problems after the birth of a child than those who lived separately before marriage, as did those whose <a href="http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/livescience/sc_livescience/storytext/kidscurbmaritalsatisfaction/31595687/SIG=11rvqkg46/*http://www.livescience.com/history/080627-hn-parents.html"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1239218439_3">parents</span></a> fought or divorced. </p> <p> However, some couples said their relationships were stronger post-birth. They tended to have been married longer or had higher incomes. </p> <p> Children don't ruin everything, Stanley points out. </p> <p> "There are different types of happiness in life and that while some luster may be off marital happiness for at least a time during this period of life, there is a whole dimension of <span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1239218439_4">family happiness</span> and contentment based on the family that couples are building," he said. "This type of happiness can be powerful and positive but it has not been the focus of research." </p> The new research, funded by a grant to the University of Denver from the <span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1239218439_5">National Institutes of Health</span>, is detailed in the <span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1239218439_6">Journal of Personality and Social Psychology</span><br /><br /><div class="hd"><br /><br /><!-- end: .tools --> </div><!-- end: .hd --> <div class="byline"> <cite class="vcard"> <a href="http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/livescience/sc_livescience/byline/kidscurbmaritalsatisfaction/31595687/SIG=121vpfog1/*http://www.livescience.com/php/contactus/author.php?r=editorial">LiveScience Staff</a><br /><br /><a href="http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/livescience/sc_livescience/byline/kidscurbmaritalsatisfaction/31595687/SIG=10sog4vj6/*http://www.livescience.com">LiveScience.com</a> <span class="fn org"><a href="http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/livescience/sc_livescience/byline/kidscurbmaritalsatisfaction/31595687/sig=121vpfog1/*http://www.livescience.com/php/contactus/author.php?r=editorial">livescience Staff</a><br /><br /><a href="http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/livescience/sc_livescience/byline/kidscurbmaritalsatisfaction/31595687/sig=10sog4vj6/*http://www.livescience.com"><br /></a></span></cite></div>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-80586782164872844622009-03-12T11:19:00.000-07:002009-03-12T11:22:25.455-07:00Do You Care About Your Kid's Food? You Should!Your future food depends on it. Not kidding. You think the price of food is high now? Do you like that your foods can be genetically modified and no one has to even TELL you about it, no labelling required? Do you care if you have food options? If these bills go through, we're totally screwed.<br /><br />Last year I read <a href="http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2008/05/monsanto200805">this article </a>in Vanity Fair about Monsanto's despicable practices of sueing small seed coops and family farmers for selling and planting GMO soybeans in violation of their patent. Even though they are innocent, Monsanto is going after them big time to, basically, put them out of business. It goes like this: if you plant their seeds even ONCE, you have to forever because of the <span style="font-style: italic;">possibility</span> of cross contamination infringing upon their patent. I'm not sure if people know about this, but it's been brewing for a long time. Here is a short filmclip that sums up their intent to get control of the world's food supply by controlling the seeds. Their ethics are pretty clearly shown in their history. They used to make PCB's and Agent Orange and manipulated research of their toxicity. 'Nuff said.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="295"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/swVjzIVqRUA&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/swVjzIVqRUA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="295"></embed></object><br /><br />It now appears that Representative Rosa L. DeLauro (D - CT) has sponsored Food Safety Modernization Act of 2009 HR875. The corresponding senate bill is S425. There are 39 big agribusiness co-sponsors of these bills. Monsanto, Cargill, Tyson are all in there. Rep. DeLauro's husband has Monsanto as a client. She received $180k in donations from agribusiness PAC's. She is also pals with Rahm Emanuel (white house chief of staff).<br /><br />This bill will make organic farming obsolete by ordering the small farmers what to feed their animals, how to medically treat their animals, what toxic sprays to use on their farms. It would criminalize all aspects of organic vegetable farms by making them "sources of seed contamination." (of Monsanto's GMO seeds...tricksy, yes?). Farming would be industrialized and forced, by fines of up to $500,000, to comply with the law.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/epXNJNjYBvw&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/epXNJNjYBvw&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />It appears we have about two weeks to make sure this doesn't happen. I truly believe in the power of the internet. Please spread the word and ACT!!!<br /><br />From The Library of Congress, Thomas Collection<br /><br />111th Congress, House of Representatives H.R.875<br />Food Safety Modernization Act of 2009<br /><a href="http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/z?c111:H.R.875" onmousedown="'UntrustedLink.bootstrap($(this)," target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span>http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-</span><wbr><span class="word_break"></span>bin/query/z?c111:H.R.875</a>:<br /><br />111th Congress, U.S. Senate S425<br />The Food Safety and Tracking Improvement Act<br /><a href="http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/z?c111:S.425" onmousedown="'UntrustedLink.bootstrap($(this)," target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span>http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-</span><wbr><span class="word_break"></span>bin/query/z?c111:S.425</a>:<br /><br />Your Elected Representatives<br /><br />House of Representatives<br /><a href="http://www.house.gov/" onmousedown="'UntrustedLink.bootstrap($(this)," target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://www.house.gov</a><br /><br />United States Senate<br /><a href="http://www.senate.gov/" onmousedown="'UntrustedLink.bootstrap($(this)," target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://www.senate.gov</a><br /><br />Call these folks and give them hell, tell them to have HR875 and S425 withdrawn from both floors of Congress Immediately.<br /><br />(202)-224-3121Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-66652154657776026452009-03-06T09:14:00.001-08:002009-03-06T10:21:00.995-08:00Holding Kids Back A Grade<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKsMuFSa-34eyZfamecT-8xv-hNN_hvNQ2TXk0BK09MGerMuO1OF7fxpUaCeTYG_n7d65PvMa0sT-S6e1Xk3wCFNoyGFSh1RWGNADQqH6IYCKukLwBunUpjgnJXuqnVGox2Xe-kLm5mxo/s1600-h/460px-New_School.svg.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 387px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKsMuFSa-34eyZfamecT-8xv-hNN_hvNQ2TXk0BK09MGerMuO1OF7fxpUaCeTYG_n7d65PvMa0sT-S6e1Xk3wCFNoyGFSh1RWGNADQqH6IYCKukLwBunUpjgnJXuqnVGox2Xe-kLm5mxo/s400/460px-New_School.svg.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5310141293128336354" border="0" /></a><br />My oldest grandson is five. He's bright. He's ready to read and does math exercises by himself all the time. He wants this, it's not being forced upon him.<br /><br />He goes to a Waldorf school.<br /><br />I understand the importance of developing slowly and surely. I understand laying the groundwork. But/and I have a difficult time when "rules" are applied across the board without giving consideration for the unique child at hand. This appears to be what's happening to him, at least to me.<br /><br />The teacher has suggested he repeat kindergarten. She's a gentle soul. I know she wants only the best for these kids.<br /><br />Her reasons: He is a male child and males develop six months behind girls. They want the kids to hit age 7 while in first grade and since his birthday is in August, he won't be 7. With these two considerations combined, she feels it's best that he stay another year.<br /><br />My daughter listened and thought those good reasons. She asked my grandson and he thought it a good idea.<br /><br />I thought it not a good idea.<br /><br />I pointed out that give who he is and his learning readiness, he would be bored as time went on. I suggested that while I want to honor childrens' decisions about the trajectory of their lives, he could not grasp what the reality of him staying put while his classmates moved on would be. I reminded her that she and her sisters had all gotten disgusted with high school and that none of the three of them had finished it in the traditional way. Did she want to subject him to another year of school on the other end?<br /><br />I am fully in support of not pushing kids who aren't ready to be pushed. But it's a balance.<br /><br />Years ago, his mother's pre-school teachers all suggested I put her directly into first grade. I didn't care, didn't have an ego need for this for her. I could see she was more than ready and was listening to them, but as she was my first I was on new ground. I had a meeting with the principal, told him what I had been told. He decided I was operating from a pushing position and refused to do it. I watched his mother, my daughter, be the Teacher's aide her whole school career. I listened to her teachers in every grade school year tell me she should not be there, that she was so beyond where the other kids were.<br /><br />I'm happy the school system got an aide and got paid to have her there. My daughter survived and has no long lasting pervasive psychological damage as a result of it :). Essentially it's not that big of a deal as, truthfully?...I think school important, but more for socialization. Most of the successful people I know didn't do all that well acdemically in school. Many of those who did aren't the most successful, happiest people (by far). I look at school as more social training than anything else, which is why grades were never an issue in our household. If and when a child wants to learn something, they will learn it.<br /><br />After much discussion and pondering, my daughter has decided to not keep him back. I think that in the long run he will be happier. And we like it when he's happy.<br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">image taken from </span><a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:New_School.svg">here</a></span>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-1943694551497272432009-02-11T12:17:00.001-08:002009-02-17T13:58:12.158-08:00Trusting Teens Part 2You can read the background as to what touched this off <a href="http://www.wesurvivedtheteens.com/2008/08/rant-on-teens-texting-and-trust-pt-1.html">here.</a><br /><br /><div>Why is it suddenly like there are more pedophiles today than before? If pedophiles weren't around in the 50's, 60's and 70's, then why were so many of my friends molested when they were younger? I know dozens of women (and a few men) who had their trust violated by family, parent's friends, priests, teachers. </div><br /><div> </div>I would like to suggest that it was even <em>more</em> dangerous before because it wasn't acknowledged so the kids had no protection..and how scary is that? If a child reported it, they were silenced, not believed, discounted...by doctors, priests, teachers, family members, even their mothers. You think that would happen now? Any licensed person who even <span style="font-style: italic;">suspects</span> abuse reports it quick, fast and in a hurry. That wasn't the case when I was young.<br /><div> </div><br /><div>Most molesting happens with people <span style="font-style: italic;">already known and trusted</span>. Controlling your child's texting or online activity won't help that. Education, being present to your child and building self esteem will. </div><br />Yes, we now have the internet. But if your child is online doing stuff that's self destructive, it says to me there's something else going on there besides just being coerced into something. It says to me that they've either been so sheltered that they haven't a clue, haven't been educated as to their possible vulnerabilities, or have been so controlled they'll find any way to be independent...even if it's self destructive.<br /><div> </div><br /><div>When a kid (or anyone, actually) gets into these situations, it says to me that they have lost the ability to discern when something feels "off." They aren't listening to their inner signals. But isn't that what we are trying to foster as parents..that inner voice that our children learn to trust and guide them through life? </div><br /><div> </div><div>Teens are going to make mistakes. We adults make plenty of 'em. Sometimes their mistakes will be big ones and we will wish we had controlled them more in the mistaken belief that somehow we could have prevented this or that. </div><br /><div> </div>But we can't. Life isn't like that and we don't live in cages. If my dad had known one quarter of what I'd done, he would have had many more heart attacks than he did. My (now in their 20's) kids have told me stuff they did that I'm so happy I never knew about. Like...traveling alone in Germany at age 17 and getting on the wrong train...which stopped in the middle of nowhere and she had to walk back to the station on the tracks. Or...at age 19 in China taking a 23 hour train trip alone to sightsee the wonders of that country...going out on the town with some rowdies and ending up in some hotel room at another point on that trip. Yup...it's a scary world out there. If I had known what they were doing beforehand I would have flipped out. These are some of their best, most exciting memories. They've built confidence inside my girls. I would never want to take that away from them.<br /><div> </div><br /><div>Do we really want to? Do we want our children to live full, interesting, exciting lives or do we want them to be "safe?" Is life about always being small or is it to be lived BIG? They can walk out the door with all in place, cell phone monitored, good grades, we know exactly where they are while riding their bike to school...and a car hits them and they die. It happens. </div><br /><div> </div><div>We cannot control Life. </div><br /><div> </div>And in the meantime, it's about trust...in our kids, in their ability to be responsible to the best of their ability. And then we have to turn it over to....whatever: their angels, God, the process, fate, whatever....<br /><div> </div><br /><div>From two of the wisest Teachers I've encountered (not the exact conversation, but the essence):</div><div> </div><br /><div>He: I promised Nemo that I would never let anything happen to him!!!</div><br /><div> </div>She: Well...that's kind of a funny thing to promise.<br /><div> </div><br /><div>He: Why?</div><br /><div> </div>She: Well...if nothing ever happens to him, then nothing ever happens.<br /><div> </div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGVSgtbvNVVRjrmrYHY6QV1sZlYtV2Xbw6bNDo0WvDIRBGX3WzI9LxV6EfLmSIqSF9gKTioFud4gjguBrWx6uUyaeg4Fed3Nu1ixuVl6pXp06G0tbKEw693cCWRS4Jfbz5k79WURTuZ_g/s1600-h/dory_and_marlin.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 195px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGVSgtbvNVVRjrmrYHY6QV1sZlYtV2Xbw6bNDo0WvDIRBGX3WzI9LxV6EfLmSIqSF9gKTioFud4gjguBrWx6uUyaeg4Fed3Nu1ixuVl6pXp06G0tbKEw693cCWRS4Jfbz5k79WURTuZ_g/s400/dory_and_marlin.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303886852003380050" border="0" /></a>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-15359949461050223302008-08-20T13:50:00.001-07:002009-02-11T12:34:17.011-08:00A Rant On Trusting Teens, Pt. 1<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm-jLTC6Q3r9ZUdJktBxZjhjTM42kya6SfOHZndv8mW2onpENRi9jrHWTcxjD-4EmUfoiBn5vodbnNNwoow114INQ9EO7hRLhnKJ-rPVjRlNN9rlPA9htyTdt6dDmQFiFWHHGQ_uXReKU/s1600-h/textmessaging_533.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 227px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm-jLTC6Q3r9ZUdJktBxZjhjTM42kya6SfOHZndv8mW2onpENRi9jrHWTcxjD-4EmUfoiBn5vodbnNNwoow114INQ9EO7hRLhnKJ-rPVjRlNN9rlPA9htyTdt6dDmQFiFWHHGQ_uXReKU/s400/textmessaging_533.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301639653788440306" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Thank heavens we live in a place where, unless they cause great harm to their kids, people get to parent any way they want to. </div><br /><div> </div>I sure wouldn't want anyone dictating to me how to raise my kids. At the same time, sometimes when I run into people who parent differently than I, I am appalled (as I'm sure they are with me).<br /><br /><div></div>I received this in my email box awhile back:<br /><div><em></em> </div><br /><div><em></em></div><blockquote><div><em>Hi,<br /><br />If your kids have cell phones then you no doubt have heard the term "text messaging". Maybe you're child is one that racks up hundreds, if not thousands of text messages per month.<br /><br />And chances are, you have NO IDEA what they are texting, and what others are texting back to them.....right?<br /><br />Well, there are some very serious reasons for you as a parent, to discover what your teens are texting, who they are texting, and how you can protect them from danger, and themselves.<br /><br />Here's a great guide designed specifically for parents, that will give you all the information you need (including a comprehensive list of all the texting codes) to learn about what your child is doing online and on their cell phones, and how you can monitor and protect them.<br /><br />It is in your child's best interest for you to KNOW about the world of text messaging and online social networking. It's not always a safe and innocent world for our kids today, out there, and it's up to us, as parents, to ensure we are on top of, and educated about the activities of our children. Especially ones that consumes so much of their time and attention!<br /><br />Visit today and learn more, I promise, you'll be glad you did. </em></div></blockquote><br /><br /><div>I have a number of issues with this email which links to an infomercial site to buy this guy's book on how to protect your child from pedophiles.<br /></div><br /><div></div>First off- I'm blown away by the assumption that it's our right to invade the privacy of someone who is almost an adult. Could it be that it's parenting styles like this that are the result of people staying "younger" for so long? Is this why kids remain living at home for so much longer, put off getting jobs, driving, creating families? Are we making our kids too dependent by our micromanaging their lives?<br /><div> </div><br /><div>How do children become trustworthy, responsible people if they are constantly given the message that they <em>aren't? </em>Especially when they haven't done anything wrong?<br /><br />Every person on this planet is entitled to their privacy. Every one. Even a baby if they so desire. I have no right to intrude on my child's private conversations unless they are in big time self destruct mode. Instead of making them "wrong" and not worthy of being trusted, I preferred making sure my kids understood I considered them responsible, intelligent human beings. They were. This is not to say we didn't have rocky or scary times. Heck...being alive and a parent at any time is scary. But we need to <em>manage</em> <em><strong>our</strong></em> fears and not require our kids to shoulder the burden of them.<br /><br />Would you rather have someone who can take care of themselves, someone who has a head on their shoulder to find their way through challenges through an inner sense of self esteem? Or would you rather contribute to someone who needs you there to tell them at every turn what's right and what's wrong?<br /><br />Yes. I understand it's a bigbadscary world out there. We want to protect our kids. But do you really think the road we're taking of monitoring their very move will do that? Paaaleeze...if your child wants to do something, they'll do it. The more boundaries you put around them, the tricksier they'll become to find their way around you. And thank heavens they want their independence. Do we really want a generation of sheep?<br /><br />more to come...<br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">image from</span><a style="font-style: italic;" href="hhttp://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2007/11/27/health/textmessaging_533.jpg&imgrefurl=http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/11/27/more-teens-victimized-by-cyber-bullies/&usg=__qQ0o6N5WwvexjKd8FE40rluTnEM=&h=303&w=533&sz=36&hl=en&start=116&um=1&tbnid=sxtxeX3q0FBu2M:&tbnh=75&tbnw=132&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtrust%2Bteen%2Btext%26start%3D100%26ndsp%3D20%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN"> here</a></span><br /></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-28040607423168384142008-08-11T12:39:00.000-07:002008-08-11T14:17:34.830-07:00Update And BirthHa...well, so much for posting more regularly....<br /><br /><div></div><div>I guess I've had a difficult time with this blog over the last year because I'm not a full time parent any more. I was having a difficult time thinking of things to write because I'm not in the middle of it. </div><br /><div></div><div>Lots has happened over the past year. My daughter gave birth to another son. Although we had not intended for me to be the midwife, he was going to be born at my house again because they lived so far out of town. </div><br /><div></div><div>Good thing my daughter had moved in a few weeks before the due date. Her labor was very fast. Like..she woke me up at 5:30 am because he water had broken and she felt a few contractions. She went back to bed to rest. I got up to get things ready....started putting water in the portable birthing tup that had been set up in my dining room for weeks....getting all the supplies out and ready....went to the store for last minute breakfast items. </div><br /><div></div><div>At 7, she decided she should eat something as it might be awhile. She was having irregular contractions, lasting no more than a minute, with 5-8 minutes in between, talking through some of them, recovering right after. </div><br /><div></div><div>At about 7:20 she vomited....hm...says I...call to hubby at old house, call to midwife to arrive. But she was still talking and having mild contractions so not to worry....'</div><br /><div></div><div>Until about 7:23 when she did a slight "eeh" in pain, holding herself against the wall and breathing deeply.</div><br /><div></div><div>Hm, says I...</div><br /><div></div><div>...call hubby and midwife to tell them to amp it up...even though she really wasn't doing much...I just had one of those old fashioned midwify intuitive feelings.</div><br /><div></div><div>Good thing....</div><br /><div></div><div>Hubby made it, she started making pushing noises. Midwife arrived when baby's head was out.</div><br /><div></div><div>Upshot is- Jaymin was born and placenta was out by 8am.</div><br /><div></div><div>I hate her. Just. Not. Fair. And I've told her this numerous times, cuz I'm just that much of a brat. She sticks her tongue out at me every time.</div><br /><div></div><div>Both were healthy and happy, although they had an adventure when Jaymin was two weeks old, which I'll rant about soon. And although I wished and hoped to be able to just watch and be a Nona, I also feel really blessed I got to catch both of my grandsons.</div><div> </div><div>He's six months old now, turning from front to back and back again...fat and happy with little squishy biscuit feet. Quite cute, if I say so myself. </div><br /><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5233370885797632178" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh50-5r_MsCb1MY350AsWFT2utORDGwL8jRqDTJEpzazzmBCYpE1qi74nW37qJX0wjv4tvZF1PIcRP8gOhE-rOu6wIQHKZ82UyGcfleWViNirITcoyKo4BYttMUlAvLSbqYsxeh43hWUx0/s400/Starla_1%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div></div>Jaymin would be the one inside the belly. The photo was taken by an old family friend, Govinda. Go check out her stuff <a href="http://www.govindajaya.com/">here </a>cuz she's good.<br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-55030264576186980402008-07-29T10:24:00.001-07:002008-07-29T10:30:32.091-07:00Long Time No TapIt's been a very way long time. <br /><br />I have two other blogs where I regularly write, and I kinda lost interest for awhile here.<br /><br />But a funny thing has happened...<br /><br />This is the blog that I've gotten requests for advertising. These are the types of articles that have risen to the top of portals where I've registered. <br /><br />I hear there is a mini baby boom going on...a "boomlette."<br /><br />So maybe there are more folks out there than before looking for other voices and perspectives on parenting, grandmothering and family life than most of what's out there. <br /><br />I do have a different look on parenting. <br /><br />I'm thinking I'll pick up writing again.Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-73386032214529565322007-07-07T14:06:00.000-07:002008-11-13T13:03:22.419-08:00Migraines And The Magic ManSince my teens, I've always been intrigued with alternative holistic healthcare. I got trained as a massage therapist at age 19, took herbs, became a vegetarian. I started studying midwifery at age 23 and learned about all sorts of alternative modalities. I will use an allopath, and think they are vital for things such as broken bones, infections, emergency treatments. But for day to day stuff, cumulative prophylactic stuff, I avoid them.<br /><br /><div><div>My kids hardly ever went to allopathic doctors growing up. Because I was new at being a parent and didn't know any better, my oldest daughter started to get the routine physicals, but that didn't last long. My younger two kids didn't even see MD's except if I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Or if I deemed they needed a perscription. They never had antibiotics until they were in their teens. If they got colds, it was herbs, and remedies. They lived. If my kids had something I couldn't figure out how to treat or if I wanted help, I took them to acupuncturists, chiropractors and naturopaths. </div><br /><div>Cass<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivASBTQSGHVENkExJlZclnSqa2u_A6q7kfb8sjKhecu6iR0M6jYiWG-ZDXQCiB5h5Qw7TxHK5ez4SUa2eSngSuVaiD3yyo0sjD_hYsBMzUmYuwckubuGryCeQc3a6rIy6fdVIT6zmaQ2s/s1600-h/migraine.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084618800977481202" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivASBTQSGHVENkExJlZclnSqa2u_A6q7kfb8sjKhecu6iR0M6jYiWG-ZDXQCiB5h5Qw7TxHK5ez4SUa2eSngSuVaiD3yyo0sjD_hYsBMzUmYuwckubuGryCeQc3a6rIy6fdVIT6zmaQ2s/s320/migraine.jpg" border="0" /></a>, my youngest, however, developed a bad allergy to dairy. She also started to get really bad headaches. As I had no reference for them, and one was particularly strong, I got scared about an aneurysm or tumor so took her into a MD. She got all sorts of tests and had an MRI to rule out my concerns. They convinced me to put her on antibiotics to clear her sinuses (that had been plugged beyondbeyond from the allergy). But the headaches persisted intermittently through early high school. </div><br /><div></div><div>I had been going to a chiropractor who practices by using <a href="http://www.appliedkinesiology.com/">Applied Kinesiology</a>. He not only muscle tests the organs, joints, ligaments, muscles and bones to see what's involved in a particular complaint, but then also tests to find out exactly HOW it's out of whack. The adjustments vary depending on what's wrong. For instance, instead of just adjusting C4 the same way all the time, he would change the maneuver depending on if it was out to the right, the left, pushed in, sticking out, etc. </div><br /><div>Whereas other chiropractors will take months of adjusments with varying degress of success in treatment, I only have to go to him a few times and I'm fixed. Once I did a major rib/spine thing while boating but couldn't get to him for months after. After I finally limped in, I was completely healed within about five sessions, free of pain after the first. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCLaK3Gb1AFO8wY0pZfwCcyiVxAqCxtqXyTIHCTxwfv7JB5ZnVrDWjyxW9n7ZMGGEH78EwMZa5ifDBQqB_JWu1ax6PEPci4XRGs60wM3onv2BW7zrU2gq_PWdipwDIjVegx0vBKLNE5Aw/s1600-h/Muscletesting.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084619638496103938" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCLaK3Gb1AFO8wY0pZfwCcyiVxAqCxtqXyTIHCTxwfv7JB5ZnVrDWjyxW9n7ZMGGEH78EwMZa5ifDBQqB_JWu1ax6PEPci4XRGs60wM3onv2BW7zrU2gq_PWdipwDIjVegx0vBKLNE5Aw/s320/Muscletesting.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><br /><div>He is a Magic Man.</div><br /><div>So I decided to take Cass to him for the headaches. He muscle tested this and that, did a few things here and there, then announced that it was her ileocecal valve (the valve between the small and large intestines) that needed adjustment. He did it. She had no more headaches.</div><br />I'm telling you this man is magic.<br /><div></div><br /><div>So...time rolls on. It's now five or so years later. Cass would have a headache from time to time that incapacitated her, making her vomit and putting her out of commission for awhile. But they were few and far between. Then about eight months ago, they increased in frequency. Then about March, they increased to the point of about once every two weeks. I kinda spaced the Magic Man. Then by May, it was every four days or so. I finally remembered. </div><br /><div>About three weeks ago, I sent her to Magic Man. She went for one session and got the ileocecal valve and some stuff in her neck adjusted. Then a week later, she went for a followup so he was sure it had stuck. She hasn't had an inkling of a headache since then.</div><br /><div>I'll say it one more time: this man is magic. </div><br /><div>I appreciate allopathy, but not for stuff like this. If I was to tell an allopathic physician that a man adjusted my daughter's ileocecal valve to fix a migraine, he would have laughed at the hocus pocus voodoo beliefs I have. There is a good chance it would be ignored and shrugged off as anecdotally insignificant. It may be, but I find it very interesting that it worked twice in her life. I also find it interesting that in both the Chinese and Aryuvedic systems of healing, when a headache presents, they work on the digestive system for treatment. And...Cass also reports that the first sign of her headaches is a stomach ache. When she gets them she knows to not eat because she will just end up throwing up. </div><div> </div><div>Why isn't this significant to allopathy? Watching her when she's in the middle of one of those headaches and hearing the way migraines affect lives, I can't believe that someone wouldn't at least try to find an Applied Kinesiology practitioner who could help them for so little money and time investment. </div><br /><div><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Applied_kinesiology">Wikipedia </a>says it's a "pseudoscience," and says that chiropractors are not supposed to offer Applied Kinesiology. I hate that stuff. It amuses me no end that I watch TV and see endless commercials of drugs that have deadly side effects, but try and do something that is not harmful at all and everyone's up in arms. Because of this attitude, I will continue to use allopaths for things mentioned above. I'm glad they're around for what they're good for. In fact, they were crucial to saving my middle daughter's life because of an emergency she was in. But if I or anyone who asks my opinion, has a problem that's not of an acute nature or needs one of their prescriptions, I will continue to avoid the allopathic medical community like the plague.<br /></div><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Images:<br /></span></em><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Migraine from </span></em><a href="http://www.riannanworld.typepad.com/"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Muscle Testing from </span></em><a href="http://www.goodenergyproducts.com/"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a></div></div>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-55061319309471789762007-06-28T13:42:00.000-07:002008-11-13T13:03:22.617-08:00So Sad<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCgiSC1iae_-BMX4SrMP9Y_xdXee72EgG1fuy-mIcaDKTBJP16gOjQoVNkQoY8V3AOUXVDrPEtKd1m6U9Sm17pIjIblScMBa1OHo4QecSrZUwO02ZKAj51dVfBF7kBja-6NbiF2L8fYAI/s1600-h/www.medicineworld_org.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5081220060212170018" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCgiSC1iae_-BMX4SrMP9Y_xdXee72EgG1fuy-mIcaDKTBJP16gOjQoVNkQoY8V3AOUXVDrPEtKd1m6U9Sm17pIjIblScMBa1OHo4QecSrZUwO02ZKAj51dVfBF7kBja-6NbiF2L8fYAI/s400/www.medicineworld_org.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>A man I used to date called last night. He and I had a very short relationship about 10 years ago. We didn't stay together nearly as long as his kids and I did.</div><div><br />When we met, I felt a connection one of his older daughters. She ended up pregnant and in an unhappy relationship. Her apartment wasn't that far from my home. As she was miserable, I invited her and her baby to live with me. They stayed for about six months. Then her younger sister started hanging out lots at our house, befriending my youngest daughter, even though they were a few years apart. She ended up spending lots of time with us, too, although never fully moving in. Both girls ended up ultimately using me, but, truth is, I knew this was a possibility before taking them into my family and heart. People who have no inner structure have nothing to share outside them.</div><div><br />One of the reasons I tried to be there for the kids was because I could see they were all lost souls due to really sad, neglectful parenting on both parents' parts. The Dad is an alcoholic, the Mom an ex drug addict and now born again Christian. Neither had the skills to parent or give the message to their kids that they were unconditionally loved.</div><div><br />The man and I hadn't talked in over a year so we had lots of catching up to do. My kids are doing great- all are happy and on their way. None of his are thriving, only one will have much of anything to do with him. The eldest that lived with me is probably doing the best in life, but won't talk to him. The son is not doing too well. Sad Dad's remark?: "well, Pamm, you sure did something right because you've always had great kids, they still want to talk to you and are doing well."</div><div><br />People say that to me lots. I have always deflected, truly believing that I can't take credit for how great they are, that all I did was get out of the way.</div><div><br />I do know this- Kids are tremendously forgiving. But they need to feel unconditionally loved. Not 24/7, but ultimately they have to be shown there is someone there to support them no matter what. Not only when they're little, but also in high school and when they're grown. Someone, somewhere on the planet has to have their back so they feel internally safe.<br /></div><div>I feel so blessed mine have that. He was so very sad about what he has unconsciously created. I would hate to have to live with myself in that way. Tragic. I talk about this lots because it's so very very important, the key, I think, to growing healthy kids.</div><div> </div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">image from </span></em><a href="http://www.medicineworld,org/"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a></div>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-29643425764215529092007-06-26T09:28:00.001-07:002008-11-13T13:03:23.872-08:00Deliver Us From Evil<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcb9zjWIVLOAwiGG2_sRi71_pOHC8e7x27ec8rTCBxTRYl7qdQWNfI392kI2d2A24nVx6a-E9XQwlY-l2ogNqp9T6SN4LjZCaCx-O-9aO_doaTy9PR_xADC4yPfBGNZZjK6wycT-5giQs/s1600-h/MPW-20724.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5080444880007066034" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcb9zjWIVLOAwiGG2_sRi71_pOHC8e7x27ec8rTCBxTRYl7qdQWNfI392kI2d2A24nVx6a-E9XQwlY-l2ogNqp9T6SN4LjZCaCx-O-9aO_doaTy9PR_xADC4yPfBGNZZjK6wycT-5giQs/s400/MPW-20724.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>It must be a sign of the times in Hollywood that I can't find too many good films to watch when I go to the video store. I end up getting odd documentaries on Religion and kids. The last one was about <a href="http://www.wesurvivedtheteens.com/2007/05/scariest-movie-ive-ever-seen.html">Jesus Camp</a>, this round it was a film about the Roman Catholic Church pedophilia crisis. The film is called "Deliver Us From Evil." </div><br /><div>I was raised a Catholic, went to Catholic school until fourth grade. Until the age if eight or so, I was sure I was going to be a nun. Although I left the Church in my teens, I have no animosity toward it. In fact, I appreciate that I grew up one as in the 60's it was the only religion in the Midwest that I knew of that had a highly developed ritual component and some recognition of the feminine in it. </div><br />Sexuality and Spirituality are the two topics I spend most of my mind pondering. Where and how the two interesect are my greatest areas of interest and academic study. My BA is in Religious Studies and I have lots of training in wholistic approaches to Sexuality. While the issue pushes my buttons, I also have a great deal of compassion for those who are sexually attracted to children. I understand that sexual fantasies can be violent, dark, and go places that society would deem deviant, bad, evil, etc. I also understand that most humans get these urges in one way or another. Feelings and thoughts are very difficult things to control. They come unbidden and oftentimes are unwanted. They can produce shame and guilt, sometimes torturing the individual as they try to find internal balance between the person they want to be and these dark thoughts.<br /><br /><div>We can't always control out thoughts. But we can control our actions. This is the line I wish to draw in this issue. It's not that I want priests to eternally burn in hell for their urges. I just want them to stop molesting children. And I want the Church to admit that they handled this incorrectly, to apologize to the people who's lives have been ruined by being abandoned by their Spiritual Teachers and the institution they support emotionally and financially. </div><br /><div>I knew this was big, I had read articles here and there, been appalled, made my jokes about it, felt my anger, all that stuff. But it always hits home harder when you see the faces, hear their stories, listen to their cries of anguish at loosing trust in humanity and God. Things <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVSBjCrtveC4vsnPlBDmN2zOR2yzNbqJIoiUq5gKxLcHpLsKjF1qNOnzcym9yGoMAeSzKQyRamQ-ERVHHfF19LdqPBhP443FAeeW-6Bl5BmYxA9lHZigFu5atXinbSVk4tTie4Z-og28s/s1600-h/fathero'grady.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5080449394017694210" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVSBjCrtveC4vsnPlBDmN2zOR2yzNbqJIoiUq5gKxLcHpLsKjF1qNOnzcym9yGoMAeSzKQyRamQ-ERVHHfF19LdqPBhP443FAeeW-6Bl5BmYxA9lHZigFu5atXinbSVk4tTie4Z-og28s/s200/fathero'grady.jpg" border="0" /></a>in particular that were new to me:</div><br /><div>-The pope, when he was Cardinal Ratzinger was the highest official in charge of this issue. At the end of the day, he is responsible for the way the Church is treating the abused kids and their families. This is the peer the Cardinals chose to be the leader, the Line from St. Peter, the highest authority. The man who abandoned the most helpless of his "flock." And the crime was not only that of sexual predation, it's compounded by the role of the perpetrator. If a priest is the messenger and holder of the Faith here on Earth, holding a position of God to a child, this child then gets to try and heal, as best they can, that they were raped by God. </div><br /><div>- That the Church strikes deals with the priests and financially supports them after they get out of jail. It works deals with DA's so that sentences are reduced, then when the offender is out of jail, takes no responsibility for the community that the felon is released into. The one priest showcased in the film, Oliver O' Grady, only spent seven years in prison, then was released into a community filled with children in Ireland. No authorities were notified of his conviction and prison stay. I found this appalling.</div><br /><div>- That in California alone, there are over 650 of these cases being investigated and tried. Estimates are that only 20% of all victims report this form of abuse. One seminary had 10% of its graduating priests arrested as pedophiles. O'Grady is thought to have abused hundreds of children, some as young as under one year old. It's often difficult to guage what's going on inside someone just by their outward demeanor, especially when they are being filmed. But I sensed very little true remorse in the man....or even a real understanding of gravity of what he had done. There were times when they showed him writing letters of apology to the children. The majority of the letters were about him. His experience, where he was today, how he felt. </div><br /><div>-Not only the children, but whole families were emotionally annhilated. Imagine a father's anguish, hearing that the priest who he and his wife had taken into their family, treated him as one of their own--a man of God in a Church he trusted. Then to find out that this trust had been so terribly violated by harming the person that they were sworn to protect. And then discover that the reason your daughter didn't tell you is because you said you would kill anyone who harmed her, and her friend told her that if someone kills someone they have to go to jail for life. I cannot imaging the pain. </div><br /><div>I would imagine that there's really very little I can share here that is new on this. But I want to add my voice to others who wonder how it is that a church heirarchy that assigns itself the right to dictate the sex lives of literally millions of consenting adults, cannot tend to its employees/ representatives do behind closed doors. Things happen. I don't hear the abused people wanting anything more than an acknowledgement of what happened, help paying for their therapy, and, most important, the knowledge that practices and policies that allow this to continue will stop. I get that above all, they want to ensure that future children can be allowed to practice their faith and pray to their God safely and without the fear that they will be raped. </div><br /><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5080445919389151698" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA_geOwrLJFlAAreHc-8d0A998igp7Bvc89wvOb7JaSE2K1O_V3O7O3-0MPcE_lPmXyvBUWODs_BYgEzcn7TzppEDQETWaVPzFwtoxpphMh3av28PG3rBbQchx09jHPXbfGUspA7jWGMY/s400/deliverusfromevilpic.jpg" border="0" /><br /></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Pictures:</span></em></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">movie poster from </span></em><a href="http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.movieposter.com/posters/archive/main/41/MPW-20724&imgrefurl=http://www.movieposter.com/poster/MPW-20724/Deliver_Us_From_Evil.html&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;h=751&w=500&sz=35&hl=en&start=7&um=1&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;tbnid=LrM1ptXRKZ3kWM:&tbnh=141&tbnw=94&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddeliver%2Bus%2Bfrom%2Bevil%2Bmovie%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4GGIH_enUS223US224"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Oliver O'Grady free to roam the streets in Ireland from </span></em><a href="http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://cdn.channel.aol.com/pmms/productpagemovies/0e/02/2147831&imgrefurl=http://movies.aol.com/movie/deliver-us-from-evil/26840/photos/deliver-us-from-evil-oliver-ogrady-in-a-harrowing-story-of-child-abuse-and-how/1738421&h=225&w=400&sz=36&hl=en&start=67&amp;amp;um=1&tbnid=P8A32i8kulKebM:&tbnh=70&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddeliver%2Bus%2Bfrom%2Bevil%2Bmovie%26start%3D60%26ndsp%3D20%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4GGIH_enUS223US224%26sa%3DN"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Monsignor Cain, O'Grady, Cardinal Mahoney combined still from depositions from </span></em><a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.reelingreviews.com/deliverusfromevil.htm"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a><em><span style="font-size:85%;"> . </span></em></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">In his deposition, Monsignor Cain said that one of the reasons that Grady was not more closely watched at first was because his first reported abuse was with a girl. That wasn't considered perverse enough to warrant action.</span></em></div>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-45131523974930170262007-06-22T10:17:00.000-07:002008-11-13T13:03:24.900-08:00Family Eats<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxheEBUGuXX_0QIJ_B0MyPVD68AEGDdPZywGT5vBdprnzvA4aq8Jf1SuGFssmBZ8wuYXnEqZNQI_apG2xwq-kJClMasdmy3zVgd7L6R29mmce2LGWp6xW11A1D3k1tw9KgsfGHR_kLzck/s1600-h/bg_ft_junkfood.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5079015484826186098" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxheEBUGuXX_0QIJ_B0MyPVD68AEGDdPZywGT5vBdprnzvA4aq8Jf1SuGFssmBZ8wuYXnEqZNQI_apG2xwq-kJClMasdmy3zVgd7L6R29mmce2LGWp6xW11A1D3k1tw9KgsfGHR_kLzck/s400/bg_ft_junkfood.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div><div>I became a vegetarian at age 17 then married a meat eater. I was also into holistic stuff when we got together, very tuned into nutrition and all that stuff from my midwifery. As the years went on, I got kind of obnoxious about the kids' diets. They hardly ever got sugar. They only had 100% real juice in their school lunchs, homemade fruit rolls made with honey for dessert, whole wheat bread only, carrot sticks. They ate real foods, pretty devoid of chemicals, additives, dyes and crap.</div><br /><div>They didn't really complain (much) at first. I would feed them all sorts of complex vegetarian c<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAN8rk-XqajIUGm2Tu8yXzJjzRgQ7JeBNVlAqB1Dy8Wv2jBsAR83EYor2bD70UuJKuATaZw2_nufjfhIlhONJ-Z_wupUSQlyKgWJFrWKnv7XsznP9oRe8go3k3h1Unuf5sxyuOkNyhjq0/s1600-h/thefatproblem_com.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5079017400381600130" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAN8rk-XqajIUGm2Tu8yXzJjzRgQ7JeBNVlAqB1Dy8Wv2jBsAR83EYor2bD70UuJKuATaZw2_nufjfhIlhONJ-Z_wupUSQlyKgWJFrWKnv7XsznP9oRe8go3k3h1Unuf5sxyuOkNyhjq0/s200/thefatproblem_com.jpg" border="0" /></a>ulinary masterpieces. I learned over time that kids prefer simple foods. </div><br /><div>As time went on and they were increasingly introduced to the world outside our family, the arguments began. It got to the point that the only real tension we had was around sugar and junk food consumption. It occurred to me that I was setting up an unconscious pattern with food for them that had the potential to affect their lives. Good job, Mom. I decided it was time to stop.</div><br /><div>One Saturday I took the plunge and got them donuts. Once they scraped their chins off the floor in astonishment, they were ecstatic. All donuts were devoured. Quickly.</div><br /><div>I started to cook more meat for all of them and actually got pretty good at chicken dishes. It got weird having to always cook two meals- one for me and one for the rest of the family. It didn't take too long to figure out that we could all do the same side dishes, but then I would cook one protein for me, one more meat based for the rest of the crew for all to be happyhappy.</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiWgwFnMopYfzNMzp3gKFtSwt4OhiK2mdRr1P89kiBTBOuH__3Bkm6BSPAwRnZ9TkAPs7y3fDLQnNcmalGXbreC8nlKAkuYrnZcKfqlmrlVLOTW_gDh-VY0Sl0un-gZx8gTwFGtaLQksA/s1600-h/stirfry.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5079017593655128466" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiWgwFnMopYfzNMzp3gKFtSwt4OhiK2mdRr1P89kiBTBOuH__3Bkm6BSPAwRnZ9TkAPs7y3fDLQnNcmalGXbreC8nlKAkuYrnZcKfqlmrlVLOTW_gDh-VY0Sl0un-gZx8gTwFGtaLQksA/s200/stirfry.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><div>As time went on and I discovered and experimented with all the various theories of eating out there, it got confusing. I couldn't do the macrobiotic thing. Didn't appeal and I like raw fruit. Then there's the whole food combining thing. I followed this carefully as part of my weight loss when I shed 75 pounds. I discovered I have food allergies to wheat and corn. We learned about the blood type diet. Pretty soon it became a thing of...well....can't eat this food from this plan here, but it's supposed to be the thing that works over here. Too much work. And way beyond limiting. I mean...about the only thing left is salmon, kale and apples. And while those foods make up a large part of my diet today, I do want and like variety.</div><br /><div>These days we can all sit down and all eat the same meal. I now eat fish. I've experimented with meat and am not into it. We all prefer whole foods, preferably organic. We all appreciate healthy eating. It simply tastes better. I'm sorry but a can of peaches does not taste like a tree ripened peach in season. Morgan and I avoid wheat, but aren''t completely neurotic about it (only slightly). All eat some sugar in moderation. We all shop at our local farmer's market for the bulk of our produce..not only for freshness, but the pricing can't be beat. </div><br /><div>We're always so surprised that people think junk food tastes better than healthy food. I don't get it. What I do know is that taste buds numb out. That if you feed yourself crap, taste buds get used to crap. But once you let the crap go, it tastes like crap. Occasionally when we travel we are subjected to bad food that others are happily devouring. We all shiver. My kids eat hamburgers, they do go to fast food from time to time. But those times are few and far between and they immediately want real food after.</div><div></div><div>I'm happy that our culture is finally waking up to the importance of being conscious about what we put in our mouths. It's a pity that we had to get so morbidly obese and unhealthy to decide to start down that road, but better late than never.</div><br /><div>In our case, yes I went a little overboard for awhile there and I think it important to be balanced now. Better to not instill a feeling of rebellion and lack so that bad eating becomes the statement for independence. What's always so fun to me is asking my three year old grandson what he wants to drink. Ninety percent of the time it's water, even when offered juice. He's always telling me water is his all time favorite. He pushed for it even back east when well meaning family who kept pushing because they couldn't believe he didn't want a soda. He just kept asking for water, no soda. In this day and age, I consider that a miracle. </div><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5079017709619245474" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5wnnsOkpVSdNP7cWAPi08TBbjxNWGAln1tMxhrXXNF9x4gm5-vrjYmbRk1aST7QPGW7zOiQ4YJjB4ui3tRWz9epHVmKGosu9PdTGYm4VQRlYt0XW8wQTQN9Mupa9pfO97hiIt-3i-Vrw/s400/www_syntheticvsreal_com.jpg" border="0" /> I mean...wow...does't this just look better than packaged, unrecognizeable crap? I really don't get it why people think eating healthy=no taste.<br /><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Candy junkfood from </span></em><a href="http://www.blogger.com/flowerstore.com/zoom.asp?sku=ft_junkfood-1"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a><em><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />Pizza, hamburgers, etc. from </span></em><a href="http://www.thefatproblem.com/"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here<br /></span></em></a><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Stirfry from </span></em><a href="http://www.localwin.com/julie/book/export/html/39"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a><em><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />Real, healthy food from </span></em><a href="http://www.syntheticvsreal.com/"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a><em><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></em></div></div>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-33433995312864696842007-06-14T12:19:00.001-07:002008-11-13T13:03:25.843-08:00Family Dynamics<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwFFvnw7QSdYygR7hUOeAL2ptTDGSoTReqy0vosB6KLe3yTzhu7hpc8LK2HTF-t86MrhjkkV65S-kGOCYXX-d9GX1YVJmQAchpRD4YfRLNvhZsBZbebUlm5EKFycQqU-nNWa1uWerHvV4/s1600-h/www_worth1000_com.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5076119216579801042" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwFFvnw7QSdYygR7hUOeAL2ptTDGSoTReqy0vosB6KLe3yTzhu7hpc8LK2HTF-t86MrhjkkV65S-kGOCYXX-d9GX1YVJmQAchpRD4YfRLNvhZsBZbebUlm5EKFycQqU-nNWa1uWerHvV4/s400/www_worth1000_com.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I suppose every family has their version of them. When Morgan was born, she and Starla got along well, or at least tolerably well. That is until Morgan woke up around age seven or so and stopped doing what Starla wanted her to. The antagonism between Morgan and Cass started when Cass was one day old. Morgan sweetly sat on the couch all propped so she would be able to safely hold Cass. The minute Cass hit Morgan's lap she started to scream. That's pretty much explains what it's been since then. Morgan bugs Cass.</div><br /><div>It's so funny....if Morgan and Starla are together, everyone is fine. If Starla and Cass are together, everyone is fine. If all four of us are together, we immediately revert into this weird sort of charicature of our worst, most dysfunctional traits. What is THAT all about?</div><br /><div>It helps that Morgan and Cass only see each other twice a year or so now. It can actually go a few days before they twitch out and we all start the pattern, which looks like this:</div><br /><div>Morgan is Emotional DramaQueen, emoting and flipping out in contrast to</div><br /><div>Cass as Miss Cool, Detached, Disgusted, Aloof, Brat</div><br /><div>Starla is uninvolved "Oh, no, here we go again, can't you guys get it together?"</div><br /><div>And I'm "Let's be butterflies and why can't we just be a happy family" sort of care-taker and trying to always soothe feathers.</div><br /><div>On one outing (in which, I might add I was footing the bill for a very expensive family adventure) we stopped in the middle of it and talked about it. It helped a little in that the adventure wasn't totally dismal, but it was sad that we had to go into our archetypal dramas. Sigh.</div><br /><div>I do really think the patterns is changing, if last Christmas is any indicator. Morgan and Cass did fight, but they never did it around me and they reported it in very even tones. They were able to get past it the two times they did fight, actually be at the same table for a friendly meal, without seething....or they did Oscar level performances and I didn't notice. No one ran into a bedroom, slamming the door. No one yelled at me for taking sides (because they both would accuse me of taking sides simultaneously, go figure.) I've even heard that Cass included Morgan as a friend on her MySpace page. So...who knows what the future will bring. </div><br /><div>I heard this happened, I never believed it would here so now I am truly a believer in the power of patience and trusting that all will be well.</div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5076120281731690466" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI4Vra6-AmnKCSwdL_fdMcAuO1qz1wAaQXq8S3NbH5JzLioYrQZUgRSiXlJTg852R3GkwsS6BemcqSqcMr0yXgJBAf8qcovV3DrcOXLfk0ElDo8IYpfG86-9LnvV01668Ey1CnlrWGZVE/s320/sparkly-rainbow.gif" border="0" /><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Beheaded sibling from </span></em><a href="http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.worth1000.com/entries/23000/23044_w.jpg&imgrefurl=http://tanoryland.blogspot.com/2006/09/super-tantrum.html&amp;amp;amp;h=758&w=500&sz=57&hl=en&start=7&um=1&amp;amp;amp;tbnid=a7LzLQdUIq6-ZM:&tbnh=142&tbnw=94&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsibling%2Brivalry%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4GGIH_enUS223US224"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here<br /></span></em></a><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Sparkly Rainbow from </span></em><a href="http://http//images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://brianmordenfoundation.org/Images/sparkly-rainbow.gif&amp;amp;imgrefurl=http://brianmordenfoundation.org/brian.htm&h=147&w=292&sz=7&hl=en&start=7&um=1&tbnid=S0NU3jqxJZQDuM:&amp;amp;tbnh=58&tbnw=115&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsparkly%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4GGIH_enUS223US224"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here </span></em></a><br /><p>Commercial Breaktime!!</p><p>Get great ideas of how to keep your family healthier with a <a href="http://www.med-help.net/">medical dictionary</a>. So whether you are looking for a new family physician or tips on what <a href="http://www.med-help.net/ms-first-aid-kits.html">first aid supplies </a>to keep in your home, you can find help and <a href="http://www.chop.edu/consumer/your_child/wellness_index.jsp?id=-8358">advice </a>online.</p>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-76834143653371466462007-06-11T12:12:00.000-07:002008-11-13T13:03:26.292-08:00Support Your Local Midwife<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLf6O6vpMHJEhh7ACos0FMhXx5h5XJpFbR8_Gg1ajOWF6BObRGxHLImfz952wy6S4wvMjfCssUZ5sRn-8bKOLsTpAh_CUDKxZUeRqb0smRQAz3sJwz3tQsn2cJ_MXDd2MgEgpWeGQR_2g/s1600-h/www_historyforkids_org.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5074907176808869570" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLf6O6vpMHJEhh7ACos0FMhXx5h5XJpFbR8_Gg1ajOWF6BObRGxHLImfz952wy6S4wvMjfCssUZ5sRn-8bKOLsTpAh_CUDKxZUeRqb0smRQAz3sJwz3tQsn2cJ_MXDd2MgEgpWeGQR_2g/s400/www_historyforkids_org.jpg" border="0" /></a> Since I used to be one, I know what the life is like. And although a good midwife will never tell you what she goes through, I feel I have the right to do so to remind us all that everyone needs recognition from time to time. These women really do.<br /><br /><div>Midwives do what they do because they love it and are committed on a very deep level. It's a calling. It <em>has </em>to be because the life is so intense that there has to be some compelling reason to put yourself through all that you do to be of service to the families. </div><div><br />Imagine, if you will, the responsibility of knowing that lives are in your hands. That even if you do everything "right" that you have no control over the events of a birth and the "karma" (if you will) of a family. Since midwives, obviously, care about Life, to have something go "wrong" even when they know they've done their best, just about puts many a midwife over the edge. It's a huge stress. That stress NEVER goes away.</div><div><br />If they live in a state that prosecutes midwives for doing home deliveries, a midwife also has this added stress constantly in the back of her mind. She knows that as well meaning as the families are, unless they are pregnant or planning to become so soon, homebirth becomes less important a political issue to devote time to. People get busy with their families. For the most part, she will be alone in her battles.</div><div><br />Midwives are on call 24/7 (unless they have partners....which they need to stay sane, but don't always have that luxury). They can never count on simple things such as a night's sleep, being with their families at Christmas, birthdays, special times. If their kid is sick, they may miss this. If their kid is in a school play,they miss it. Basically, when a mother is a midwife, all the other families have to become more important than hers. When a mother is a midwife, her whole family is involved in birthing whether they want it or not. This is stressful for her family. When she's home she needs to focus on them. </div><div><br />Because midwives have a closer, more caring practice, families sometimes forget boundaries and a midwife's personal time. I used to get frivolous calls at all times of the day and night. For instance, someone once called me at 5:30 am after I had been up all night at a birth to ask me what time the Natural Food Store opened. I suggested she call them as I had no idea. I knew she meant well in all she intended, but I think it prudent to mention to the general public that if you have forty to fifty (or more) families under your care, that each needs to be cognizant of the fact that a midwive needs space to recharge her batteries so she has energy to give. Please think before you call. </div><div><br />A touchy subject: ...but please....pay your midwife the fee you agreed to. She puts in copious hours for you, puts her heart and soul into taking care of you, your child and your birth. It's expensive buying equipment, expensive for her to find good childcare for her kids when you have a birth. She probably charges a fraction of what any OB would, and puts in many more hours. She feels blessed to have been invited to your birth, but is invited because she brings skills and experience that you need. She needs the security of having her personal bills covered so that her energy doesn't have to focus there. We no longer live in a society where the village took care of its healers....she needs money to do that...and until your good intentions can pay her rent, please...just pay her in a timely fashion so she doesn't have to stress about it. <div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5074907666435141330" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwLCn9AVEv7V5xXD1GCF7bu-IIxaRz0GU6kcaa-brcdyUW4wFUGsHTeO0Nw6sElGqHzdSiGbqX_OweAo8ZX6meFw8gVFBP6O8_dJsItRPHb761-GKCAMISBmE90YF1mL_WLbxkKJC9HAc/s200/www_tonya_me_uk.jpg" border="0" /><br />Finally...do not see her as God. <strong><em>You</em></strong> are the Goddess giving birth. She does not deliver your baby...<strong><em>you</em></strong> deliver your baby. She is coming to assist you because she believes in you and your ability to give birth normally and naturally. She is there because at this point in her life, she can think of no better place to be, has nothing she feels is more important than babies being born in emotionally and physically healthy ways. She will always do her best, but ultimately, this is your birth. Do NOT give your power away. Do not let go of responsibility over your body...she doesn't want it. She wants to empower YOU and your family. Let her do this. Please receive this--her greatest gift. </div></div><br /><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Image of woman giving birth from </span></em><a href="http://www.historyforkids.org/"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Squatting woman giving birth from </span></em><a href="http://www.tonya.me.uk/"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a></div>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-50410820221609264222007-06-08T11:08:00.000-07:002007-06-08T11:16:35.384-07:00Don't You Love It When<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.tahoetwisters.com/NaturePhoto/LargePhotos/lg_double_rainbow2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.tahoetwisters.com/NaturePhoto/LargePhotos/lg_double_rainbow2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><div><br />....the daughter who, three years ago, was telling you she is entitled to: </div><br /><div> </div>A cell phone with unlimited texting and minutes<br /><div> </div><br />A computer with scanner/copier and all the CD's she wants to burn<div> </div><br /><div>An MP3 player</div><br /><div> </div>A car of her choice<br /><div> </div><br /><div>All the clothes she wants </div><br /><div> </div>...is now a politically active, culturally aware almost twenty year old who is paring down to live a simple life? No more car. Simple cell phone plan. Buys organic. Reads politically leftist subversive books. Takes a stand on gender, peace, cultural, racist issues.<br /><div> </div><br /><div>Wow.</div><br /><div> </div>Trust me, if this conversion can happen anything is possible. Just another miracle we get to observe as we watch them transform and transmute.<br /><div> </div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.commentreload.com/Images/Angels/images/angel-18.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.commentreload.com/Images/Angels/images/angel-18.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><div style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Rainbow picture taken from <a href="http://www.tahoetwisters.com/NaturePhoto/LargePhotos/lg_double_rainbow2.jpg">here</a></span></div><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Angel from </span><a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://www.commentreload.com/Images/Angels/images/angel-18.gif">here</a></span>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-19589698443822943642007-06-06T09:42:00.000-07:002008-11-13T13:03:26.567-08:00Who's In Control??<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLVXeErMfRnobioaV_HCFnKSfvOJg3B6JRawjxEt6hFMbyDMvipInGuPMes12hdpIb7pN1mbQOjmqDhheYWEXZd_7DdlWLJigbiImhVFBljtp9orOHITmJv7r6r9aJPJbnFwDhkw8yLkw/s1600-h/47242_discipline.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5072996247074631314" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLVXeErMfRnobioaV_HCFnKSfvOJg3B6JRawjxEt6hFMbyDMvipInGuPMes12hdpIb7pN1mbQOjmqDhheYWEXZd_7DdlWLJigbiImhVFBljtp9orOHITmJv7r6r9aJPJbnFwDhkw8yLkw/s400/47242_discipline.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I know that we, as parents, have to assume a position of authority. Our kids like to have the security of feeling that someone is in control. I have been blessed with kids who had their moments of challenge, but none of my kids has never gone off the deep end. None of them got so unruly or disrespectful that they got lost and out of control.</div><br /><div>The experts might look at this and say that it was because of the way I disciplined them. Could be. I have my opinions about how to get kids to the point where they listen, especially when young (talked about <a href="http://www.wesurvivedtheteens.com/2007/04/no-means-no-ages-1-5.html">here). </a>It could be that by raising them the way I did, that they learned how to behave, got a sense of themselves, and didn't act out too much. But those same "experts" wouldn't agree with my parenting style...in fact the way I parented was quite contrary to most of what they suggest to parents to avoid the behavior they are trying to prevent.<br /><br />After watching lots of kids and parents, I do notice certain styles that tend to result in more beneficial parent/kid relationships. But in the end, I have to say, that nothing that I've seen predetermines where a kid will end up. After watching kids and how their parents handled them, I discovered a secret. Now...even though I figured this out pretty early on, I never let on to my kids until they were much older. Why crack the illusion and make things harder for everyone? I think it vital to continue the status quo mindset. </div><br /><div>SSSsssssssh.....be sure not to tell them...but....it's really the kids that are in control.<br /></div><div><br />Why do I say that? Because we, as parents, can decide to punish. We can have time outs, spankings, talkings to, groundings, taking away priveleges, the whole thing. But if the kid doesn't <em>decide</em> to obey, doesn't decide that the consequences are enough to stop what they're going, it means nada. Ask any parent who's kid is out of control. </div><br /><div>Scary isn't it? </div><div></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></em></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Image from </span></em><a href="http://www.u46.k12.il.us/shs/anthonygregory/22079.htm"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a></div><div> </div><div>This post was featured in the <a href="http://www.thesocalledme.net/2007/06/18/carnival-of-family-life/">Carnival Of Family Life</a></div>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-69799816872830685712007-05-29T10:11:00.000-07:002008-11-13T13:03:28.688-08:00Scariest Movie I've Ever SeenIf done tastefully and with some sort of deeper thinking involved, I love a good scary movie from time to time. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirYSSL0OenHuMPUJ0biddeWQ9cDbGo9wgkJ8JtbpsaPuUSY-em1X_DpJd_Xb_cT-km6mLAKeepGJOuUWFkzThSeiqNZ8ePXTrKdTW2tvpqoEPbFQGrEz7OGqujd_lKXmWOtL-7pIAMlCs/s1600-h/jesuscamp4.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070035016682107778" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirYSSL0OenHuMPUJ0biddeWQ9cDbGo9wgkJ8JtbpsaPuUSY-em1X_DpJd_Xb_cT-km6mLAKeepGJOuUWFkzThSeiqNZ8ePXTrKdTW2tvpqoEPbFQGrEz7OGqujd_lKXmWOtL-7pIAMlCs/s400/jesuscamp4.jpg" border="0" /></a>"<strong>Jurassic Park<em>"</em></strong> made me think about science. <strong>"28 Days Later"</strong> was an amazing film. I love the old Hitchcock thrillers.<br /><br />This movie, however, was, by far, the most frightening movie I have ever seen.<br /><br />I fancy myself an extremely respectful person in regards to people's choices about their religion and spiritual paths. In fact, spirituality is such an important subject to me that I got my BA in Religious Studies. Even though none of these are my personal spiritual path, I have respect for Muslims, Pagans, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, Voudoins, Wiccans. My basic motto with religious choice is: "The flowers on the petal are many, but the flower is one."<br /><br />From the movie's <a href="http://www.jesuscampthemovie.com/">homepage:</a><br /><br />"A growing number of Evangelical Christians believe there is a revival underway in America that requires Christian youth to assume leadership roles in advocating the cause of their religious movement.<br /><br /><strong>"Jesus Camp"</strong> follows a group of young children to Pastor Becky Fischer's "Kids on Fire Summer Camp," where kids are taught to become dedicated Christian soldiers in God's army and are schooled in how to take back America for Christ. The film is a first-ever look into an intense training that recruits born again Christian children to become an active part of America's political future."<br /><br />Although I couldn't find a picture of it, the first thing that froze me in my seat, took my breath away was the opening scene. It was of a "recruiting" introductory workshop. The scene was of a bunch of kids dressed like an army, twirling these baton things and marching/dancing to a song for Jesus.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070035355984524210" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXuBya-v8xJcvrUb-xYSg3jHKYobAGHtNjENziL1m8Gd3bRxPArU7Y5HjpY0KB8mpCNVAn3v6k_pQO1L7rUb_s7r-OuvZ0v8KSpeWX96Yd79Fg01u0hTO6_XBvOmuOOe4tVTAc1WBpKC0/s200/jesuscamp6.jpg" border="0" />The second huge red flag went up when Becky said something to the effect of: "Look at the Muslims. They train their kids starting when they are really small to be willing to die for Allah. I want to create kids that are willing to die for Jesus."<br /><br />Becky is very clear about and honest with her intent to brainwash these kids. She uses tried and true, "scientifically proven" techniques to do so, taking them step by step to her cause. She justifies it by saying that all kids are brainwashed and why shouldn't sh<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy1tKvWGLtVqMQWcR52YLrI1ubld5RLx1L3TBINrDLyb6sj9-jMq5a9otYb0nePo1GTcqmF40jOLUcGsi3vRmJ6MBNBZTAQKJipry_aD6ym59hCuUKqJX2-oPe2odz6-2cYPcGGQaxUsM/s1600-h/jesuscamp8.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070035536373150674" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy1tKvWGLtVqMQWcR52YLrI1ubld5RLx1L3TBINrDLyb6sj9-jMq5a9otYb0nePo1GTcqmF40jOLUcGsi3vRmJ6MBNBZTAQKJipry_aD6ym59hCuUKqJX2-oPe2odz6-2cYPcGGQaxUsM/s200/jesuscamp8.jpg" border="0" /></a>e (with the god's and the parent's consent, of course) brainwash them this way?<br /><br />Third terror alert (code red) amidst many mini previous ones as we followed a number of kids home then to camp? When the kids finally get there, their first session reminded me of watching footing from Hitler's Germany. The whole thing (or what was presented on film, anyway) was to instill in the kids how "bad" they are, how sinful. Kids..little kids were crying, sobbing in shame, many of them with their heads in their arms, not willing to be seen. Yup, break their psyches down with pain and shame, then give them a way out through you. I kept wondering if Becky trained b<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4KtPmsfhPCS9CWcENuwfRNss0v1YpPSwBEMV3Nazgis_Ey5py2toCwxR7ecfYKBUAihbGqnlTUdjDmlP9UAK1zV9J8IyK5Z2YvM2JB3JJaCaWlRgTYR_TxhqNixTAQdurdRDpzJMUCNA/s1600-h/jesuscamp7.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070047845749421042" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4KtPmsfhPCS9CWcENuwfRNss0v1YpPSwBEMV3Nazgis_Ey5py2toCwxR7ecfYKBUAihbGqnlTUdjDmlP9UAK1zV9J8IyK5Z2YvM2JB3JJaCaWlRgTYR_TxhqNixTAQdurdRDpzJMUCNA/s200/jesuscamp7.jpg" border="0" /></a>y the CIA. She's that good at what she does.<br /><br />These kids are committed. They feel they are messengers for God, here to spread his word, given a mandate because God brought them George Bush and it's time for them to step up to the plate and do "their part." I laughed at one scene. One young girl, who kind of struck me as a bit unbalanced, tried to convert someone at a bowling alley. The woman actually listened to her. I w<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4DwT69tGx0fUfhUu24vbw4GaTzPsNIr-KD9Iv6bRGS-0Fl3-_-xek0KmcdkW_P0m5WAaIV0L2O2dnPX3n4dZSBvJe5X3JD8hSNUnVEuLLMRONCLzV8zojrJMpP5rkUfFLc81gNgTX7II/s1600-h/jesuscamp2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070035252905309090" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4DwT69tGx0fUfhUu24vbw4GaTzPsNIr-KD9Iv6bRGS-0Fl3-_-xek0KmcdkW_P0m5WAaIV0L2O2dnPX3n4dZSBvJe5X3JD8hSNUnVEuLLMRONCLzV8zojrJMpP5rkUfFLc81gNgTX7II/s200/jesuscamp2.jpg" border="0" /></a>ould have politely told her that I was not interested as I always do with any sales person. Just because it's a kid doesn't mean I have to reinforce rude behavior trying to sell me something so personal and which I neither asked for nor want. I don't accept phone solicitations or door to door sales people...so why would I listen?<br /><br />Throughout the whole thing, I kept wondering what would happen if the Christian right found out about a camp for Gay kids. I wondered what would happen to a Pagan kid camp. Would they stand outside the camp and try to shut it down? Would they file complaints?<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIchWeAnQYIkWQBKZ3D6EYIj3efZoSbFP2YdHPXul0XfeMFOOSzj0d-a5xADp5LZkM53OPxOg3EVDCg2QUNiVNIjFfJwEpFknwcwK_AfLjTFJCozaDKz_Y0js3N036p0P0Mi6JMX1pT-4/s1600-h/jesuscamp9.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070035613682562018" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIchWeAnQYIkWQBKZ3D6EYIj3efZoSbFP2YdHPXul0XfeMFOOSzj0d-a5xADp5LZkM53OPxOg3EVDCg2QUNiVNIjFfJwEpFknwcwK_AfLjTFJCozaDKz_Y0js3N036p0P0Mi6JMX1pT-4/s200/jesuscamp9.jpg" border="0" /></a>On their way back home after their training, they got to stop at one of their personal Christian rock star's church. It was, obviously, filmed before Mr. Haggard's publicity "challenge."<br /><br />Let me state catagorically that I feel terribly for the man. We all learn our lessons in life and I feel incredibly sorry for anyone that has to have that level of hypocrisy shoved in their faces and go through the anguish I can imagine he went through. For me, though, their adventure with him was such a metaphor for all that I heard throughout the film: God gave us GW Bush; there is no such thing as Global Warming..it's just a plot by the liberals to shift the issue off abortion; there is no such thing as evolution; the Bible is THE word of God (like he dictated it directly to the printing house). I can find no truth in any of those statements or in what Ted Haggard projected himself to be. It's utterly fascinating to me to try and understand why people hold onto things that from my perspective are so clearly untrue....and that they hold so tenaciously, struggle and grasp, even when faced with that which they have been clinging to has been proven false.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy6s0GVZeMJWdIdGBQmp-MA3yX_WQ1XzYvHcA32kiQ-Vca4ssLAuzoMIe-m4_KfYlS52e3boHbY7hCQJhWGBIWBCmbnXryeElFNcPslnYih8Kp39mgphDQFRQR6E7sVhggjIlI95Rpesg/s1600-h/jesuscamp1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5070035162710995858" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy6s0GVZeMJWdIdGBQmp-MA3yX_WQ1XzYvHcA32kiQ-Vca4ssLAuzoMIe-m4_KfYlS52e3boHbY7hCQJhWGBIWBCmbnXryeElFNcPslnYih8Kp39mgphDQFRQR6E7sVhggjIlI95Rpesg/s200/jesuscamp1.jpg" border="0" /></a>Ecstatic spiritual experience is an amazing feeling. I know. Kids are so open to all of those kinds of emotions, have very few walls once they have been convinced of the rightness of their cause. They have very little interference with past history and a possess a truly trusting nature. My observation has been that when kids are subjected to this kind of treatment when young, they do one of two things. They stay there or they start to wake up, take notice of a few of the hypocrisies, feel lied to and rebel. As I watched these kids, I was fascinated, wondering where they would be in ten or fifteen years.<br /><br />I support the right to religious freedoms. But that doesn't mean I don't see some that frighten me and make me so happy to be who I am. One of the things that I really appreciated about the film is that they had other Christians critiquing this movement. Along side the story line of the camp, they had a critical Christian radio personality who was airing a show that they would go back to a number of times during the movie. Any critique that will be effective and heard needs to come from within Christianity itself. If not, it will only be dismissed.<br /><br />Because, you see, they really won't listen to someone like me.<br /><br />My God doesn't want or <em>need</em> an army, especially one of children.<br /><br />He doesn't feel the need to shame and instill fear into little children so they follow him. He's more confident of himself than that.<br /><br />My God's about Love.<br /><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Images from the movie taken from </span></em><a href="http://outnow.ch/Media/Img/2005/JesusCamp/"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here </span></em></a><em><span style="font-size:85%;">, </span></em><a href="http://www.cinemablend.com/gallery/previews/Jesus-Camp-1753.html"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a><em><span style="font-size:85%;">, and </span></em><a href="www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15065166/"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a><br /><br /><div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">You can read more of a synopsis of the movie</span></em><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Camp_Documentary"><em><span style="font-size:85%;"> here</span></em></a><em><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></em><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">again, the movie's website is </span></em><a href="http://www.jesuscampthemovie.com/"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a><em><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></em></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">read disucssion about the film at </span></em><a href="http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.indiewire.com/people/BeckyFischer.jpg&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;imgrefurl=http://www.indiewire.com/people/2006/05/beyond_the_ideo.html&h=306&w=550&sz=35&hl=en&start=11&um=1&tbnid=CSbZ--h9gnK50M:&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;tbnh=74&tbnw=133&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmovie%2Bjesus%2Bcamp%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4GGIH_enUS223US224"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Indiewire.com </span></em></a></div></div></div>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-50357505840994789312007-05-29T08:52:00.000-07:002007-05-29T10:05:36.793-07:00CarnivalsThere are a couple of Carnivals I submitted to this last week and got published in...eeeahhhaaaa!!!....<br /><br />The first is the <a href="http://www.jhsiess.com/2007/05/carnival-of-family-life_27.html">Carnival of Family Life </a>for which I submitted my article on <a href="http://www.wesurvivedtheteens.com/2007/05/cass-took-sociology-of-sexuality-class.html">Teens and Sex</a>. It's being hosted by a wonderful woman named Janie over at <a href="http://www.jhsiess.com/">Colloquium</a>.<br /><br />The other articles submitted are:<br /><br />Jack Yoest of <a href="http://www.yoest.com/">Yoest.com</a> presents <a href="http://www.yoest.com/2007/05/25/memorial-day-at-arlington-national-cemetery">Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetery</a>.<br />Cory Aldrich of <a href="http://www.marriageactually.com/">Marriage Actually</a> presents <a href="http://www.marriageactually.com/2007/05/26/holiday-negotiations">Holiday Negotiations</a>.<br />mom&dad of <a href="http://www.raising4boys.com/">raising4boys.com</a> present <a href="http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/16/how-not-to-coach-a-kids-soccer-team">How Not to Coach a Kids’ Soccer Team</a>.<br />Kerri of <a href="http://www.playlibrary.com/">Play Library</a> presents <a href="http://www.playlibrary.com/2007/05/23/dangerous-pool-toys">Dangerous Pool Toys</a>.<br />Jordan of <a href="http://www.mamablogga.com/">MamaBlogga </a>presents Five Things Moms Do Right<br />Laura Young of <a href="http://laurayoung.typepad.com/dragonslaying">Dragon Slayer's Guide to Life</a> presents<a href="http://laurayoung.typepad.com/dragonslaying/2006/03/when_your_old_s.html"> When Your Old Self and New Self are out of Sync: Social Drag</a>.<br />Karen Flores of <a href="http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Testimony">Karen Flores</a> presents <a href="http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Testimony/329581">By the word of their testimony - More Read Alouds</a><br />Jenny-Up the Hill of <a href="http://jennyupthehill.blogspot.com/">Up the Hill Gang</a> presents <a href="http://jennyupthehill.blogspot.com/2007/05/10-days.html">Up the Hill Gang: 10 Days</a>.<br />Holly Schwendiman of <a href="http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog">Holly's Corner Blog</a> presents <a href="http://www.hollyscorner.com/blog/2007/05/24/we-made-it">We Made It!</a>.<br />Silicon Valley Blogger of <a href="http://www.thedigeratilife.com/blog">The Digerati Life</a> presents <a href="http://www.thedigeratilife.com/blog/index.php/2007/05/14/sounding-off-on-how-much-moms-job-should-pay/">Sounding Off On How Much Mom’s Job Should Pay</a>.<br />Mama Duck of <a href="http://lilduckduck.com/">Lil Duck Duck</a> presents <a href="http://lilduckduck.com/messy-party-ideas-part-3/1095">Messy party ideas - part 3</a>.<br />Kevin of <a href="http://www.more4kids.info/">More4Kids Parenting</a> presents <a href="http://www.more4kids.info/435/avoid-punishment-when-angry">Parenting Tip of the Day: Avoid Punishing When Angry</a>. Super Saver of <a href="http://www.blogger.com/mywealthbuilder@hotmail.com">My Wealth Builder</a> presents <a href="http://my-wealth-builder.blogspot.com/2007/05/investing-for-our-daughter.html">Investing for Our Daughter</a>.<br />Erica Douglas of <a href="http://www.littlemummy.com/">LittleMummy.com</a> presents <a href="http://www.littlemummy.com/2007/05/24/parenting-micro-management-v-complete-delegation">Parenting: Micro-Management v. Complete Delegation</a>.<br />Lill Hawkins of <a href="http://hawkhillacres.blogspot.com/">News from Hawkhill Acres</a> presents <a href="http://hawkhillacres.blogspot.com/2007/05/singing-in-my-sleep.html">Singing in My Sleep</a>.<br />Sara of <a href="http://fiveberriesintx.blogspot.com/">fiveberries in Texas</a> presents <a href="http://fiveberriesintx.blogspot.com/2007/05/on-potty-training.html">On Potty Training</a>.<br />Dana of <a href="http://gottsegnet.blogspot.com/">Principled Discovery</a> presents <a href="http://gottsegnet.blogspot.com/2007/05/homeschooling-with-new-baby.html">Homeschooling With a New Baby</a>.<br />Sherrie McCarthy of <a href="http://www.gypsyprincess.info/">Confessions of a Wandering Gypsy Princess</a> presents <a href="http://www.gypsyprincess.info/?p=341">Pumpkin Butt is Driving Me Crazy</a>.<br />Dana of <a href="http://southerngalgoesnorth.blogspot.com/">Southern Gal Goes North</a> presents <a href="http://southerngalgoesnorth.blogspot.com/2005/12/unruly-children-bad-parenting.html">Unruly Children=Bad Parenting?</a>.<br />Riley of <a href="http://allrileyedup.blogspot.com/">All Rileyed Up</a> presents <a href="http://allrileyedup.blogspot.com/2007/05/latest-in-hair-trends.html">The Latest in Hair Trends</a>.<br />muse of <a href="http://me-ander.blogspot.com/">me-ander</a> presents <a href="http://me-ander.blogspot.com/2007/05/nice-day-nice-pictures.html">Nice Day, Nice Pictures</a>.<br />Therapy Doc at <a href="http://everyoneneedstherapy.blogspot.com/">Everyone Needs Therapy</a> presents <a href="http://everyoneneedstherapy.blogspot.com/2007/05/commencement.html">Commencement</a>.<br />Sara of <a href="http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/">Suburban Oblivion</a> presents<a href="http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/05/23/one-of-those-real-bad-mom-days"> One of Those Real (Bad) Mom Days</a>.<br />Whymommy of <a href="http://toddlerplanet.wordpress.com/">Toddler Planet</a> presents <a href="http://toddlerplanet.wordpress.com/2007/05/24/a-peace-loving-home">A Peace-Loving Home</a>.<br />Karen of <a href="http://take2max.com/blog">Write from Karen</a> presents <a href="http://take2max.com/blog/?p=1783">Doing the Shuffle</a>.<br />Csara of <a href="http://www.babytalkers.com/">Baby Talkers</a> presents <a href="http://www.babytalkers.com/2007/sharing.html">Sharing</a>.<br />Hueina Sue of <a href="http://echoes-of-cold-moon.blogspot.com/">Echoes of Cold Moon</a> presents <a href="http://echoes-of-cold-moon.blogspot.com/2007/05/in-praise-of-green-beans.html">In Praise of Green Beans</a>.<br />Christine of <a href="http://www.everydaydisasters.com/">Everyday Disasters</a> presents <a href="http://www.everydaydisasters.com/2007/05/25/physics-and-the-school-play">Physics and the School Play</a>.<br />Shera of <a href="http://www.blogger.com/%C2%A4%20http://www.afroginmysoup.com">There's A Frog In My Soup . . . and other mixed blessings! </a>presents <a href="http://www.afroginmysoup.com/2007/04/brother-for-sale.html">Brother for Sale</a>.<br />Julee of <a href="http://homeschooling.about.com/ub/6/">Homeschool Daze</a> presents <a href="http://homeschooling.about.com/ub/6/a/000165.htm">I'm Serious</a>.<br />Chris Wondra of <a href="http://chriswondra.com/">Chris Wondra.com</a> presents <a href="http://chriswondra.com/2007/05/02/what-to-do-when-your-child-is-getting-teased">What to do when your child is being teased</a>.<br />Jennifer of <a href="http://toddlertactics.blogspot.com/">Toddler Tactics</a> presents <a href="http://toddlertactics.blogspot.com/2007/05/let-battles-begin.html">Let the Battles Begin</a>.<br />Mommy the Maid of <a href="http://mommythemaid.blogspot.com/">Mommy the Maid</a> presents <a href="http://mommythemaid.blogspot.com/2007/05/yesterday-she-turned-two.html">Yesterday she turned two</a>.<br />Summer of <a href="http://wiredfornoise.blogspot.com/">Wired for Noise</a> presents <a href="http://wiredfornoise.blogspot.com/2007/05/poop.html">Poop</a>.Suzanne of <a href="http://adventuresindailyliving.blogspot.com/">Adventures in Daily Living</a> presents <a href="http://adventuresindailyliving.blogspot.com/2007/04/things-i-need-to-remember.html">Things I Need to Remember</a>.<br />Kate of <a href="http://www.babylune.com/">Babylune</a> presents <a href="http://www.babylune.com/unassisted-chidbirth-considered-more-normal">Unassisted Childbirth Considered More Normal</a>.<br />Megan Bayliss of <a href="http://osiris.instanthosting.com.au/~ima33724/blog">Imaginif. . . </a>presents <a href="http://osiris.instanthosting.com.au/~ima33724/blog/2007/05/25/saying-no-takes-practice-play-idea-to-help-kids-say-no/">Saying No Takes Practice: Play Idea to Help Kids Say No</a>. Kailani of <a href="http://islandlife808.com/">An Island Life</a> presents <a href="http://islandlife808.com/my-family/the-happiest-place-on-earth">The Happiest Place on Earth</a>?<br />Pamm of <a href="http://www.wesurvivedtheteens.com/">We Survived the Teens</a> presents <a href="http://www.wesurvivedtheteens.com/2007/05/cass-took-sociology-of-sexuality-class.html">Teens and Sex</a>.<br />Stephen Ward of <a href="http://www.projectparadox.com/">Project Paradox</a> presents<a href="http://www.projectparadox.com/family/parenting/kids-say-the-darndest-things.php"> Kids Say the Darnedest Things</a>.<br />Vicky of <a href="http://blog.littlelegends.biz/">Little Legends Blog</a> presents <a href="http://blog.littlelegends.biz/2007/05/24/at-what-age-do-you-let-your-children-go-out-on-their-own">At what age do you let your children go out on their own</a>?Leisa of <a href="http://downwiththekids.net/">Down with the Kids</a> presents <a href="http://downwiththekids.net/2007/05/24/a-humour-milestone">A Humour Milestone?</a><br />Carol of <a href="http://www.cantholdertongue.com/">Can't Holder Tongue</a> presents <a href="http://www.cantholdertongue.com/?p=63">Bathtub Advice</a>.<br />Kristen of <a href="http://www.loveshakbaby.com/">Love Shak, Baby</a> presents <a href="http://www.loveshakbaby.com/2007/05/going_out_to_ea.html">Going Out To Eat With The Kids: Where Do You Go</a>?<br />Arun of <a href="http://dailyremedy.blogspot.com/">Arun is Bringing You . . . Your Daily Remedy</a> presents <a href="http://dailyremedy.blogspot.com/2007/05/art-of-forgetting.html">The Art of Forgetting</a>.<br />Michelle Sweeney of <a href="http://tonicgifts.typepad.com/tonic_gifts">Tonic Gifts</a> presents <a href="http://tonicgifts.typepad.com/tonic_gifts/2007/05/the_meanest_mot.html">The meanest mother in the world</a>.<br />Christine of <a href="http://arewethereyetmom.com/">Are We There Yet Mom?</a> presents <a href="http://arewethereyetmom.com/?p=215">Summer Safety and the Unthinkable</a>!<br />Nathania Johnson of <a href="http://www.thesemzone.com/">The SEM Zone</a> presents <a href="http://www.thesemzone.com/2007/04/im-proud-seo-mom.html">I'm a Proud SEO Mom</a>.<br />Jonathan Pippenger of <a href="http://growingupwiththekids.blogspot.com/">Growing Up with the Kids</a> presents <a href="http://growingupwiththekids.blogspot.com/2007/05/dad-logic-vs-daughter-emotion-round-1.html">Dad Logic vs. Daughter Emotion: Round 1</a>.<br />Madeleine Begun Kane of <a href="http://www.madkane.com/">Mad Kane's Humor Blog</a> presents <a href="http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2007/05/21/no-sweat-divorce">No Sweat Divorce</a>.<br />The Expatriate Chef of <a href="http://expatriateskitchen.blogspot.com/">The Expatriate's Kitchen</a> presents<a href="http://expatriateskitchen.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-know-shell-like-it-someday.html"> I Know She'll Like it — Someday</a>.<br />Maureen of <a href="http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/TRINITYPREPSCHOOL">Trinity Prep School</a> presents <a href="http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/TRINITYPREPSCHOOL/331948">Peak Experience of the Week</a>.<br />Ben Cotten of <a href="http://www.bencotten.net/">Ben's Soap Box</a> presents <a href="http://www.bencotten.net/2007/05/22/eating_out/">My Apologies to Golden China for the Spider Monkeys</a>.<br /><br />I'm enjoying the discovery of new ideas and places to find a few laughs and encourage you to check all or some of them out!!<br /><br />___________________________<br /><br /><br />The other was the <a href="http://anjamerret.com/?p=175">Carnival of Observations On Life</a>, hosted this time by Anja Merret at <a href="http://www.zarenapa.com/">Chatting To My Generation</a>.<br /><br />I want to thank Anja for being kind and including me as I think I may have misunderstood the intent of this Carnival..I thought it was supposed to be on humorous stuff so sent in my posts about <a href="http://www.wesurvivedtheteens.com/2007/04/thing-about-organic-food-is.html">Moth Genocide</a>....blush.<br /><br />Brandon Peele presents <a href="http://generativetransformation.typepad.com/generative_transformation/2007/05/an_open_letter_.html">An Open Letter to My Parents</a> posted at <a href="http://generativetransformation.typepad.com/generative_transformation/">GT</a>.<br />Conan Stevens presents <a href="http://www.conanstevens.com/bodybuilding-and-muscle-gain/big-huge-muscle-the-secrets/stupid-things-we-did-as-beginner-bodybuilders.html">Stupid Things We Did As Beginner Bodybuilders</a> posted at <a href="http://www.conanstevens.com/">Tall Muscle Actor Blog</a>.<br />Conan Stevens presents <a href="http://www.intellectualgroup.com/kindergarten-child-arrested-and-charged-with-felony.html">Kindergarten Child Arrested And Charged With Felony</a> posted at <a href="http://www.intellectualgroup.com/">Thinking About Life</a>.<br />Conan Stevens presents <a href="http://www.actors-acting.com/acting-is-high-pay-but-dont-try-to-live-like-a-movie-star.html">Acting Is High Pay But Don?t Try To Live Like A Movie Star</a> posted at <a href="http://www.actors-acting.com/">Actors And Acting Informational Blog</a>.<br />Allan Wallace presents <a href="http://bfuniv.blogspot.com/2007/05/teachers-and-students-method-works-for.html">Teachers and Students - Method Works For Some, Destroys Others</a> posted at <a href="http://bfuniv.blogspot.com/">- The BFU Journal -documenting the creation of a new type of college</a>.<br />Madeleine Begun Kane presents <a href="http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2007/05/21/no-sweat-divorce/">No Sweat Divorce</a> posted at <a href="http://www.madkane.com/">Mad Kane’s Humor Blog</a>.<br />Rickey Henderson presents <a href="http://ridingwithricky.blogspot.com/2007/05/rickeys-weekend-running-diary-of-doom.html">Rickey’s Weekend Running Diary (Of Doom)</a> posted at <a href="http://ridingwithricky.blogspot.com/">Riding with Rickey</a>.<br />Kennubo presents <a href="http://kennubo.blogspot.com/2007/04/fat-woman-date-with-cute-girl-and-free.html">Fat monster, a date with a cute girl and free lunch</a> posted at <a href="http://kennubo.blogspot.com/">Ken Nubo — Your daily source of rambling</a>.<br />karl staib presents <a href="http://www.karlstaib.com/2007/05/21/perspectivism/">Perspectivism</a> posted at <a href="http://www.karlstaib.com/">Karl Staib</a>.<br />Shamelle presents <a href="http://enhancelifethinktank.blogspot.com/2007/05/6-american-idol-ways-to-enhance-your.html">6 ‘American Idol Ways’ To Enhance Your Blogging</a> posted at <a href="http://enhancelifethinktank.blogspot.com/">Enhance Life</a>.<br />Debra Moorhead presents <a href="http://www.debramoorhead.com/blog/?p=196">What Gardening Has Taught Me About Life</a> posted at <a href="http://www.debramoorhead.com/blog">Debra Moorhead.com</a>.<br />Samir presents <a href="http://samirbharadwaj.com/blog/wedding-day/">How to anti-crash a wedding in 5 easy steps - a case study</a> posted at <a href="http://samirbharadwaj.com/">SamirBharadwaj.com</a>.<br />Ellesse presents <a href="http://www.goal-setting-college.com/inspiration/wilma-rudolph/">Inspirational Stories I : Wilma Rudolph, An Olympic Wonder</a> posted at <a href="http://www.goal-setting-college.com/">Goal Setting College</a>.<br />Jeremy Reeves presents <a href="http://www.theroadtoperfection.com/when-people-think-youre-weird-your-getting-somewhere/">Being Weird Is a Good Thing</a> posted at <a href="http://www.theroadtoperfection.com/">The Road To A Perfect Life</a>.<br />Pamm presents <a href="http://www.wesurvivedtheteens.com/2007/04/thing-about-organic-food-is.html">The Thing About Organic Food Is…..</a> posted at <a href="http://www.wesurvivedtheteens.com/">We Survived The Teens</a>.<br />therapydoc presents <a href="http://everyoneneedstherapy.blogspot.com/2007/05/commencement.html">Commencement</a> posted at <a href="http://everyoneneedstherapy.blogspot.com/">Everyone Needs Therapy</a>.<br />Alvaro Fernandez presents <a href="http://www.sharpbrains.com/blog/2007/05/25/lifelong-learning-and-new-neurons-in-adults/">Lifelong Learning and New Neurons in Adults</a> posted at <a href="http://www.sharpbrains.com/">Brain Fitness</a>.<br />Daniel Brenton presents <a href="http://www.danielbrenton.com/2007/03/13/destinys-calling-and-its-getting-a-busy-signal/">Destiny’s Calling, and it’s Getting a Busy Signal</a> posted at <a href="http://www.danielbrenton.com/">The Meaning of Existence (and all that): The Odd Little Universe of Daniel Brenton</a>.<br />Ankesh Kothari presents <a href="http://www.blogclout.com/blog/easy-trick-to-achieve-all-your-goals/">Easy Trick to Achieve All Your Goals</a> posted at <a href="http://www.blogclout.com/blog">How To Grow Your Blog Traffic</a>.<br />Phil presents <a href="http://www.philforhumanity.com/The_Size_of_Money.html">The Size of Money « Phil for Humanity</a> posted at <a href="http://www.philforhumanity.com/">Phil for Humanity</a>.Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-89530316990645776142007-05-25T07:51:00.000-07:002008-11-13T13:03:34.321-08:00Telling The Kids About Drugs<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEjtZfyK5psUqV0uokxALSFZWLQzE-abQ5FvYgGBqQy-2EyaTMQbOviSF7PqD-kRQUwuebiBm4s7-WFaDvUQLTg-7XAPbwYv670XWL3YX5p5R55lQfMx2UrinWocwH9ikg9-VvBo9hPyQ/s1600-h/drugs-index_www_fade_org_nz.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5068551809855976178" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEjtZfyK5psUqV0uokxALSFZWLQzE-abQ5FvYgGBqQy-2EyaTMQbOviSF7PqD-kRQUwuebiBm4s7-WFaDvUQLTg-7XAPbwYv670XWL3YX5p5R55lQfMx2UrinWocwH9ikg9-VvBo9hPyQ/s400/drugs-index_www_fade_org_nz.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div><div>Controversial topic, I know. Abuse of them can lead to all sorts of lifelong problems, throwing people into places that are very difficult to extricate themselves from. </div><br /><div>All three of my girls experimented with drugs in their teens: alcohol, pot, LSD, crack or crank (don't remember which one), mushrooms. Probably ecstasy. I'm not sure, but I don't think they've done heroin or angel dust. </div><br /><div>I am here to report they did not die, none of them does drugs regularly now. I don't get that any of them did as many drugs as I did when their age. Although Morgan did quite a few for awhile, none of them has become addicted to anything, all have experimented and are pretty done with them for the most part, barring occasional pot with two of them and some drinking from time to time as partying folk do. But even that has slowed down. As Morgan and I were saying one time...partying can be a cultural a rite of passage of sorts these days. It's "cute" to end up puking when you're 19. At 22 it's less attractive. By 28 eyebrows are raised. If you're 32 and still doing the sloppy drunk, you're a loser. By 40, it's just disgusting. </div><br /><div>In our small community a group of us went through parenthood together, with kids as peers. Some kids went through these stages with a bit more struggle than others. I remember discussions with a few parents on the topic. Opinion was mixed as to how to handle things...whether to tell the kids about our personal involvement with drugs in our pasts (or present for some). </div><br /><div>I stood, and continue<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT2QSCnlzXlmpTtAgvvpfh8jo1v9WtvxgvTFyYIOQm5gOw5RCy1VVEy8lnEw_3UHnHOLnRpTSbb8GPFnZJJpqO7qeyYr9619md3NVVnFlGGmbPSVZBUbarPzOQ9ldWdFW-0XAlrB42-Ss/s1600-h/Trip_narcodex_ca.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5068550474121147090" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT2QSCnlzXlmpTtAgvvpfh8jo1v9WtvxgvTFyYIOQm5gOw5RCy1VVEy8lnEw_3UHnHOLnRpTSbb8GPFnZJJpqO7qeyYr9619md3NVVnFlGGmbPSVZBUbarPzOQ9ldWdFW-0XAlrB42-Ss/s200/Trip_narcodex_ca.jpg" border="0" /></a> to stand on the side of honesty--trusting that my kids are smart and want to be whole. I took drugs when I was young. Lots of pot, hash, LSD, mesacline, THC in pill form, tons of speed, cocaine once, angel dust once. Although I was mostly done with them by my early 20's, much of my sophmore through senior years were spent high on one drug or another. As time went on, I was starting to feel more and more nauseous when I smoked pot. After a previous seven year hiatus, the last time I smoked it was when I was 31. I got violently ill for days (I do everything backwards....most people smoke pot to stop nausea, I get it from smoking). </div><br /><div>I told my kids my history because I think my words carry more weight than so<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoM-jSJMpEn36k6It8ijUty0H2BHcPAKOvlida2wt8S97lpYFx-HHTvQgdgDNomiOdV8z8bRKmX8NiJ2z4T4dApe74MdJb8L7q8d7vnzmLYLaJ2qUxeGVzTdKLUza4CECPfHf7KVJ-oBI/s1600-h/204_mkaymackey_www_esse_ou_edu.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5068552733273944850" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoM-jSJMpEn36k6It8ijUty0H2BHcPAKOvlida2wt8S97lpYFx-HHTvQgdgDNomiOdV8z8bRKmX8NiJ2z4T4dApe74MdJb8L7q8d7vnzmLYLaJ2qUxeGVzTdKLUza4CECPfHf7KVJ-oBI/s200/204_mkaymackey_www_esse_ou_edu.jpg" border="0" /></a>meone who has never had drugs. One of the reasons I was so open to so many drugs was due to my curious nature, and my need to rebel against the loving control my parents provided me. I didn't want my kids to feel that control and have that need to take back their lives in unhealthy ways. One of the things that really upset me was all the drug education they gave us in school. We were told that if we smoked pot, then we would automatically kill ourselves because it ALWAYS straightlined to heroin addiction. As a kid, this made me lose complete respect for the programs. I thought them stupid and bunk. My kids had the <a href="http://www.dare.com/home/default.asp">D.A.R.E program </a>in school. A few years after one had the program, the officer who led it was arrested for drug use. What do we think this stuff does to kids? This officer and we are only human, I know, but to be hypocritical causes more problems than telling the truth. I knew drugs. I wan't unreasonable about them, I used them, I liked them, I didn't get addicted so no misleading horror story there. I saw them for what they were and rejected them. </div><br /><div>What I told my kids, pretty much verbatum, is this:</div><br /><div>There is a reason people take drugs. It's because they feel good. I'm not going to lie...they do feel really good and are really fun.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDhjo1LkIvqT0jq6iWz5LuyG-faPqT7zRDl57aB-jmxONxvY7kQVreBYPD1ssmPiG8cK6XJdyB4oWpOla1B9cTXL3xQNp4o57CLqWQvYNLUBdz4Fl-rn7sqkqr9yepIjbiz1UUf7WIHys/s1600-h/spiritelf_com.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5068550804833628898" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDhjo1LkIvqT0jq6iWz5LuyG-faPqT7zRDl57aB-jmxONxvY7kQVreBYPD1ssmPiG8cK6XJdyB4oWpOla1B9cTXL3xQNp4o57CLqWQvYNLUBdz4Fl-rn7sqkqr9yepIjbiz1UUf7WIHys/s320/spiritelf_com.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />But they Lie. They are not real and they make you think everything inside you is OK but it's NOT OK. You loose the ability to function like a human being. Everyone around you can see you are out there, but you think you are functioning. This is the lie. I've watched people from my generation take tons of drugs and I can tell you from first hand observation, that the ones who took lots and continue to take them stop their emotional development and their ability to function well in society. All the ones I know who smoke pot every day are emotionally stuck back when they first started smoking. Do you want to be 40 years old with the emotional capacity of a 16 year old? There is a REASON I don't do drugs any more, even though they feel good. I don't because of this lie. Although I would prefer you don't do them, I figure you may take drugs to experiment. Again..not the best choice and one I hope you don't make, but you are going to have to learn to be responsible for yourself. But know this: if you go over the edge, I will be so in your face you won't know what hit you. </div><br /><div>Many of the parents didn't like my approach, feeling like admitting the truth "gave permission" to take drugs. These same parents smoked when they were young, some still smoke. I look at their kids now. Many of the kids whose parents chose to lie to "protect"them are now pretty heavy drug users. </div><br /><div>Feedback from my kids about feeling like my telling them my history gave them permission was mixed. None of them took it that I was giving them permission, but Cass said she could see that other kids might see it that way. I'm not sure what the answer is there and cannot begin to give "advice" to other parents. I'm happy to hear we are in a current trend of less drug use with teens. As trends tend to go in cycles, I'm not sure what the future holds. </div><br /><div>I'm not sure how to bring a kid back from excess, not sure how they get there. I had a general parenting style of keeping a watchful eye, while pretty much putting my kids lives in their ball court. This style was consistent throughout their lives. I don't know how certain kids end up taking too many drugs and others don't. I don't know why my kids never ended up as material for a Jerry Springer show. </div><br /><div>I wanted my girls to learn to police themselves because they have to do this their whole lives. This training has to start when they are young. No one can go from having their whole life controlled t<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuvBI-jBp8WZtlo80s23uAnY4-GG1R07itFqyM7kwCdYYhOg5_zZQ-lbzoW7i25Dt8c5IsTNEk_YT_mkotqPGhbaRpb54cf04Sb9w9qPBp27S8jEpY4HNHhnmV-ErRg1EK3LnnuMIrong/s1600-h/imdb_com.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5068555649556738850" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuvBI-jBp8WZtlo80s23uAnY4-GG1R07itFqyM7kwCdYYhOg5_zZQ-lbzoW7i25Dt8c5IsTNEk_YT_mkotqPGhbaRpb54cf04Sb9w9qPBp27S8jEpY4HNHhnmV-ErRg1EK3LnnuMIrong/s200/imdb_com.jpg" border="0" /></a>o being able to make decisions. We all have to go through trial and error periods. No adult functions if they are constantly looking to their parents (bosses, pundits, etc) to make all their moral decisions for them. The teen times are a time of learning what it is to be an adult. Sometimes in the learning we fall off the path to find our way back. If kids feel loved, respected, and have developed even a modicum of self esteem, they can go through periods that may look scary (and are to a parent) but then they come around once they have played out the curiosity. I can say with full certainty: if a child wants to experiment with drugs they will, no matter what a parent does or says. Yes, we can and do influence them, but in the end we cannot ultimately control them. It's not our life. It's theirs. </div><div> </div><div><em>Informative Commercial Break-</em></div><div><em></em> </div><div><em>If your child has an </em><a href="http://www.brown.edu/Administration/George_Street_Journal/teensmoke.html"><em>addiction</em></a><em> they may require </em><a href="http://www.brown.edu/Administration/George_Street_Journal/teensmoke.html"><em>detox</em></a><em> before they can become healthy again. If you suspect your child might be using drugs, look for some of the common signs like </em><a href="http://www.careflorida.com/dual-diagnosis.html"><em>depression</em></a><em>. Find out more about how to spot, and treat a </em><a href="http://www.ext.colostate.edu/pubs/consumer/10216.htm"><em>drug</em></a><em> addiction online.</em></div><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>Drugs from </em></span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.fade.org.nz"><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>here<br /></em></span></a><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">LSD Trip from </span></em><a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.narcodex.ca"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here </span></em></a></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">South Park image from </span></em><a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.esse.ou.edu"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Eyeball image from </span></em><a href="http://www.spiritelf.com/"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;"><strong>Wizard of Oz</strong> as Hero's Journey from </span></em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a></div></div></div>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-57931216229939032732007-05-23T11:36:00.000-07:002007-05-23T11:41:04.323-07:00Carnival of Family LifeAn article of mine was included at The Carnival of Family Life over at <a href="http://www.beagooddad.com/425/carnival-of-family-life-may-21st-2007/">Be A Good Dad</a>. There are tons of good posts and I'm sure you will find something to connect with in these posts. As I am fairly new to this genre of blogs here in Blogland, I am appreciating being introduced to some lovely writers. I have chosen to just cut and paste the whole carnival here for easy reference as I have seen other Carnivals do...enjoy!!!<br /><br /><br />Karen presents <a href="http://take2max.com/blog/?p=1756">Appreciating Mothers, Not Just THE Day</a> posted at <a href="http://take2max.com/blog">Write From Karen</a>.<br />Garret presents <a href="http://need-to-get-some.blogspot.com/2007/05/so-i-just-joined-myspace.html">So I just joined Myspace</a> posted at <a href="http://need-to-get-some.blogspot.com/">Need to Get Some</a>.<br />Lori Radun, CEC presents <a href="http://themomcoach.typepad.com/the_mom_coach/2007/05/finding_peace_i.html">Finding Peace in Letting Go</a> posted at <a href="http://themomcoach.typepad.com/the_mom_coach/">The Mom Coach</a>.<br />Melitsa presents <a href="http://play-activities.com/blog/2007/05/13/whats-in-the-bag/">What?s in the bag?</a> posted at <a href="http://play-activities.com/blog">Play-Activities.com</a>.<br />Maureen presents <a href="http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/TRINITYPREPSCHOOL/328012/">Trinity Prep School - Name That Tude….</a> posted at <a href="http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/TRINITYPREPSCHOOL/">Trinity Prep School</a>.<br />Tricia presents <a href="http://bloggingawayfat.com/youre-not-fat-youre-wonderful/">You’re Not Fat, You’re Wonderful</a> posted at <a href="http://bloggingawayfat.com/">Blogging Away Fat</a>.<br />Erica Douglas presents <a href="http://www.littlemummy.com/2007/05/09/stop-trying-to-be-a-perfect-parent/">Stop Trying To Be a Perfect Parent</a> posted at <a href="http://www.littlemummy.com/">Littlemummy.Com</a>.<br />alfaking presents <a href="http://alfaking.wordpress.com/2007/05/12/born-again/">Born again</a> posted at <a href="http://alfaking.wordpress.com/">Alfa King Memories</a>.<br />Michelle presents <a href="http://scribbit.blogspot.com/2007/04/oh-yea-so-what-is-your-child-wearing.html">Oh Yea? So What Is YOUR Child Wearing?</a> posted at <a href="http://scribbit.blogspot.com/">scribbit</a>.<br />Jenny-up the hill presents <a href="http://jennyupthehill.blogspot.com/2007/05/my-donkey-fell-on-road.html">My Donkey Fell On the Road!</a> posted at <a href="http://jennyupthehill.blogspot.com/">Up the Hill Gang</a>.<br />TherapyDoc presents <a href="http://everyoneneedstherapy.blogspot.com/2007/05/going-home-part-one.html">Going Home, Part One</a> posted at <a href="http://everyoneneedstherapy.blogspot.com/">Everyone Needs Therapy</a>.<br />Plus6 presents <a href="http://plus6.com/2007/05/10/how-to-lower-your-pet-costs/">HOW TO: Lower Your Pet Costs</a> posted at <a href="http://plus6.com/">Plus6 Personal Finance</a>.<br />Linsey B. Knerl presents <a href="http://facipiers.blogspot.com/2007/05/my-first-post-and-other-oddities.html">My First Post and Other Oddities</a> posted at <a href="http://facipiers.blogspot.com/">Facipiers and Stinky Toes</a>.<br />Summer M presents <a href="http://www.momisteaching.com/taking-a-breather/">Taking a breather</a> posted at <a href="http://www.momisteaching.com/">Mom Is Teaching</a>.<br />Tushar presents <a href="http://residentalieninusa.blogspot.com/2007/05/shopping-at-costcothe-frugal-way.html">Shopping at Costco…the frugal way !!</a> posted at <a href="http://residentalieninusa.blogspot.com/">Life of a Resident Alien…</a>.<br />manicmama presents <a href="http://manicmama.typepad.com/manicmama/2007/05/a_cure_for_coli.html">A Cure for Colic?</a> posted at <a href="http://manicmama.typepad.com/manicmama/">manicmama</a>.<br />GP presents <a href="http://fishcreekhouse.blogspot.com/2007/05/apple-of-my-eye.html">The Apple of My Eye</a> posted at <a href="http://fishcreekhouse.blogspot.com/">Fish Creek House - INNside Innkeeping</a>.<br />Summer presents <a href="http://wiredfornoise.blogspot.com/2007/05/are-you-sure-theyre-brothers.html">Are you sure they’re brothers?</a> posted at <a href="http://wiredfornoise.blogspot.com/">Wired For Noise</a>.<br />Sherry presents <a href="http://andromeda.qc.ca/?p=728">She has her own sense of style</a> posted at <a href="http://andromeda.qc.ca/">Chaos Theory</a>.<br />Karen presents <a href="http://www.take2max.com/writing/2007/04/30/gorgeous-despair/">Gorgeous Despair</a> posted at <a href="http://www.take2max.com/writing">Write Stuff</a>.<br />Romie presents <a href="http://romies-rants.blogspot.com/2007/04/mlo-stays-up-to-be-with-daddy.html">MLO stays up to be with daddy</a> posted at <a href="http://romies-rants.blogspot.com/">Romie’s Rants</a>.<br />Ian presents <a href="http://catholicinformation.aquinasandmore.com/2007/04/30/i-think-we-are-officially-a-large-family/">I Think We are Officially a Large Family</a> posted at <a href="http://catholicinformation.aquinasandmore.com/">Musings From A Catholic Bookstore</a>.<br />Jenny presents <a href="http://www.thesocalledme.net/2007/02/26/tips-for-getting-little-hands-to-help/">Tips for getting little hands to help</a> posted at <a href="http://www.thesocalledme.net/">the so called me</a>.<br />kristen presents <a href="http://www.shakhammer.com/2007/05/diyers_get_nail.html">DIY’ers get nailed</a> posted at <a href="http://www.shakhammer.com/">Shakhammer</a>.<br /><a id="amzn_cl_link_0" style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 1px; COLOR: #0000ff; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px solid; TEXT-DECORATION: underline" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000001ONG?ie=UTF8&tag=kalbzaynsworl-20&link_code=em1&camp=212341&creative=380613&creativeASIN=B000001ONG&adid=50d20c2f-c58d-4d10-afe2-2dd544f7dad3">Super Saver</a> presents <a href="http://my-wealth-builder.blogspot.com/2007/05/lessons-from-my-daughter-have-fun.html">Lessons From My Daughter - Have Fun</a> posted at <a href="http://my-wealth-builder.blogspot.com/">My Wealth Builder</a>.<br />Garret presents <a href="http://need-to-get-some.blogspot.com/2007/05/quote-for-day-people-dont-own-dogs-dogs.html">“Puppy Love” - a different perspective</a> posted at <a href="http://need-to-get-some.blogspot.com/">Need to Get Some</a>.<br />Henry Cate presents <a href="http://whyhomeschool.blogspot.com/2007/05/we-love-colonial-williamsburg.html">We love Colonial Williamsburg</a> posted at <a href="http://whyhomeschool.blogspot.com/">Why Homeschool</a>.<br />Joey presents <a href="http://www.hrtsafire.com/archives/6">Say Goodbye</a> posted at <a href="http://www.hrtsafire.com/">Hearts A Fire</a>.<br />Jeremy Adam Smith presents <a href="http://daddy-dialectic.blogspot.com/2007/05/jackie-and-jessicas-story-missing-piece.html">Jackie and Jessica’s Story: The missing piece of the puzzle</a> posted at <a href="http://daddy-dialectic.blogspot.com/">Daddy Dialectic</a>.<br />Karen Murphy presents <a href="http://www.lionandmagicboy.com/2007/05/15/adventures-in-three-year-old-land/">adventures in three-year-old land</a> posted at <a href="http://www.lionandmagicboy.com/">Lion and Magic Boy</a>.<br />Shera R. presents <a href="http://twinjourney.blogspot.com/2007/05/another-cute-post.html">Another Cute Post</a> posted at <a href="http://twinjourney.blogspot.com/">A Journey With Twins</a>.<br />Rocketman presents <a href="http://pointlessbanter.net/blog10/?p=107">Call My People</a> posted at <a href="http://pointlessbanter.net/blog10">The Rocketman’s Change For A Dollar</a>.<br />MLO is daddy’s little girl posted at <a href="http://romies-rants.blogspot.com/">Romie’s Rants</a>.<br />Lill Hawkins presents <a href="http://hawkhillacres.blogspot.com/2007/05/daughters-day.html">Daughter’s Day</a> posted at <a href="http://hawkhillacres.blogspot.com/">News from Hawkhill Acres</a>.<br />Terri Mauro presents <a href="http://specialchildren.about.com/b/a/259147.htm">Kids Who Can’t Swim, Parents Barely Afloat</a> posted at <a href="http://specialchildren.about.com/">About Parenting Special Needs</a>.<br /><a id="amzn_cl_link_1" style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 1px; COLOR: #0000ff; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px solid; TEXT-DECORATION: underline" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1599210851?ie=UTF8&tag=kalbzaynsworl-20&link_code=em1&camp=212341&creative=380613&creativeASIN=1599210851&adid=b92c5b73-a66c-4227-8427-c1e9d955ba10">Karen Shanley</a> presents <a href="http://karenshanley.com/blog/?p=450">Must Sea TV</a> posted at <a href="http://karenshanley.com/blog">Karen Shanley: Author Mom with Dogs</a>.<br />Jordan presents <a href="http://www.mamablogga.com/five-things-moms-do-right/">Five Things Moms Do Right</a> posted at <a href="http://www.mamablogga.com/">MamaBlogga</a>.<br />Jennifer presents <a href="http://www.parentingtoddlers.net/help-me-rhonda-get-him-off-of-my-leg/">Help Me Rhonda … Get Him Off of My Leg</a> posted at <a href="http://www.parentingtoddlers.net/">Parenting Toddlers</a>.<br />Stacie presents <a href="http://twinkies.bastetweb.com/2007/05/15/lies-damned-lies-and-statistics/">Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics</a> posted at <a href="http://twinkies.bastetweb.com/">The Twinkies</a>.<br />Kailani presents <a href="http://islandlife808.com/my-family/conquering-your-fears/">Conquering Your Fears</a> posted at <a href="http://islandlife808.com/">An Island Life</a>.<br />Megan Bayliss presents <a href="http://homeschoolingaspergers.blogspot.com/2007/05/melt-and-mould-soap-making.html">Melt and Mould Soap Making</a> posted at <a href="http://homeschoolingaspergers.blogspot.com/">Home Schooling Aspergers.</a>.<br />Jenny presents <a href="http://www.thesocalledme.net/2007/05/16/i-missed-mothers-day/">I missed Mother’s Day</a> posted at <a href="http://www.thesocalledme.net/">the so called me</a>.<br />Pamm presents <a href="http://www.wesurvivedtheteens.com/2007/05/is-she-lying.html">More Letting Go…..</a> posted at <a href="http://www.wesurvivedtheteens.com/">We Survived The Teens</a>.<br />sara presents <a href="http://fiveberriesintx.blogspot.com/2007/05/poop-stories.html">poop stories</a> posted at <a href="http://fiveberriesintx.blogspot.com/">fiveberries in texas</a>.<br />therapydoc presents <a href="http://everyoneneedstherapy.blogspot.com/2007/05/courage.html">Courage</a> posted at <a href="http://everyoneneedstherapy.blogspot.com/">Everyone Needs Therapy</a>.<br />Shamelle presents <a href="http://enhancelifethinktank.blogspot.com/2007/05/are-we-there-yet.html">Are We There Yet?</a> posted at <a href="http://enhancelifethinktank.blogspot.com/">Enhance Life</a>.<br />Erica Douglas presents <a href="http://www.littlemummy.com/2007/05/10/remember-your-purpose-outside-of-parenting/">Remember Your Purpose Outside of Parenting</a> posted at <a href="http://www.littlemummy.com/">LittleMummy.Com</a>.<br />Melitsa presents <a href="http://play-activities.com/blog/2007/05/17/play-activity-how-does-your-garden-grow/">Play activity: How does your garden grow?</a> posted at <a href="http://play-activities.com/blog">Play-Activities.com</a>.<br /><a id="amzn_cl_link_2" style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 1px; COLOR: #0000ff; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px solid; TEXT-DECORATION: underline" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/082396826X?ie=UTF8&tag=kalbzaynsworl-20&link_code=em1&camp=212341&creative=380613&creativeASIN=082396826X&adid=f22e7264-08f5-4c6a-b3bf-88492856df28">Tracee Sioux</a> presents <a href="http://traceesioux.blogspot.com/2007/03/voice-in-my-head_22.html">The Voice in My Head</a> posted at <a href="http://traceesioux.blogspot.com/">So Sioux Me</a>.<br />Kendra Dahlstrom presents <a href="http://vbacadventure.com/?p=38">Different Views on Natural Birth</a> posted at <a href="http://vbacadventure.com/">vbacadventure.com</a>.<br />Karen Lynch presents <a href="http://www.livethepower.com/blog/193/meditation-rules/">Meditation Rules</a> posted at <a href="http://www.livethepower.com/blog">LivethePower</a>.<br />Anna presents <a href="http://ontheponderosa.wordpress.com/2007/05/17/parents-gone-stupid/">PARENTS GONE STUPID</a> posted at <a href="http://ontheponderosa.wordpress.com/">On The Ponderosa</a>.<br />Megan Bayliss presents <a href="http://osiris.instanthosting.com.au/~ima33724/blog/2007/05/12/christine-aguilera-abused-as-a-child/">Christine Aguilera Abused as a Child</a> posted at <a href="http://osiris.instanthosting.com.au/~ima33724/blog">Imaginif…</a>.<br />Hueina Su presents <a href="http://blog.beyondhorizoncoaching.com/2007/05/journey-into-love.html">Journey into Love</a> posted at <a href="http://blog.beyondhorizoncoaching.com/">Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul</a>.<br />Craig Harper presents <a href="http://www.craigharper.com.au/2007/05/gills-story.html">Gill’s Story</a> posted at <a href="http://craigharper.com.au/index.htm">Motivational Speaker</a>.<br />Eric presents <a href="http://www.husbandhood.net/how-to-get-your-kids-to-love-taking-medicine/">How To Get Your Kids To Love Taking Medicine</a> posted at <a href="http://www.husbandhood.net/">Husbandhood</a>.<br />Annette Berlin presents <a href="http://frugaljourney.com/free-toys-for-older-kids/">Free Toys For Older Kids</a> posted at <a href="http://frugaljourney.com/">Frugal Journey</a>.<br />supermom_in_ny presents <a href="http://supermom2005.blogspot.com/2007/05/target-bratz-and-number-11.html">Target, Bratz and the Number 11</a> posted at <a href="http://supermom2005.blogspot.com/">Snow White, 7 Dwarves and PDD</a>.<br />almomento presents <a href="http://burstcreativity.com/word/2007/05/18/10-steps-to-better-efficiency-in-your-day-to-day-life/">10 Steps to Better Efficiency in Your Day to Day Life</a> posted at <a href="http://burstcreativity.com/word">BurstCreativity</a>.<br />Donna Jean presents <a href="http://theweightofmoney.com/2007/05/costs-of-summer-work-and-camp.html">Costs of Summer: Work and Camp</a> posted at <a href="http://theweightofmoney.com/">The Weight of Money</a>.<br />Sherry presents <a href="http://andromeda.qc.ca/?p=739">Making a mother</a> posted at <a href="http://andromeda.qc.ca/">Chaos Theory</a>.<br />Thad Guy presents <a href="http://www.thadguy.com/comic/defense-against-toddlers/79/">Defense Against Toddlers</a> posted at <a href="http://www.thadguy.com/">Thad Guy</a>.<br />Colonel Cash presents <a href="http://aplacefordads.blogspot.com/2007/05/educating-kids-for-global-competition.html">Educating Kids for global competition</a> posted at <a href="http://aplacefordads.blogspot.com/">A Place For Dad’s</a>.<br />Jonathan PIppenger presents <a href="http://growingupwiththekids.blogspot.com/2007/05/little-bit-of-forgiveness.html">A Little Bit of Forgiveness</a> posted at <a href="http://growingupwiththekids.blogspot.com/">Growing Up With The Kids</a>.<br /><a id="amzn_cl_link_3" style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 1px; COLOR: #0000ff; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px solid; TEXT-DECORATION: underline" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0973959169?ie=UTF8&tag=kalbzaynsworl-20&link_code=em1&camp=212341&creative=380613&creativeASIN=0973959169&adid=fc2ac9a7-d700-4b8c-a148-f28b62edaba7">Rachel Starr Thomson</a> presents <a href="http://rachelstarrthomson.blogspot.com/2007/05/small-ones.html">small ones</a> posted at <a href="http://rachelstarrthomson.blogspot.com/">Inklings</a>.<br />Lorri presents <a href="http://themacandcheesechronicles.com/2007/05/17/a-little-excitement/">A Little Excitement</a> posted at <a href="http://themacandcheesechronicles.com/">The Mac and Cheese Chronicles</a>.<br />Cory Aldrich presents <a href="http://www.marriageactually.com/2007/05/07/history-part-i-hes-got-nice-hair/">HIStory - Part I: “He’s Got Nice Hair”</a> posted at <a href="http://www.marriageactually.com/">marriageactually.com</a>.<br />Kerri Aldrich presents <a href="http://www.playlibrary.com/2007/05/15/a-fun-visit-to-the-dentist/">A Fun Visit to the Dentist</a> posted at <a href="http://www.playlibrary.com/">Play Library</a>.<br />Cade Krueger presents <a href="http://writetoright.com/2007/05/14/moms-family-and-our-purpose-for-business/">Moms, Family, and Our Purpose for Business</a> posted at <a href="http://writetoright.com/">Make Money Business Opportunity @ Write To Right</a>.<br />Brent Diggs presents <a href="http://www.ominouscomma.com/archives/entertainment/random/progeny-pride">The Ominous Comma » Progeny Pride</a> posted at <a href="http://www.ominouscomma.com/">The Ominous Comma</a>.<br />Stephanie presents <a href="http://stoptheride-stephanie.blogspot.com/2007/05/200-toward-debt.html">$200 Toward Debt</a> posted at <a href="http://stoptheride-stephanie.blogspot.com/">Stop the Ride!</a>.<br />Vicky presents <a href="http://blog.littlelegends.biz/2007/05/19/why-do-parents-join-online-communities/">Why do parents join online communities?</a> posted at <a href="http://blog.littlelegends.biz/">Little Legends Blog</a>.<br />Leisa presents <a href="http://downwiththekids.net/2007/05/19/dinosaurs-looking-down/">Dinosaurs looking down</a> posted at <a href="http://downwiththekids.net/">downwiththekids.net</a>.<br />Csara presents <a href="http://www.babytalkers.com/2007/realizing-my-baby-isnt-such-a-baby-anymore.html">Realizing my baby isnt such a baby anymore</a> posted at <a href="http://www.babytalkers.com/">Baby Talkers</a>.<br />ispf presents <a href="http://gradmoneymatters.com/2007/05/money-and-relatives.html">Money and Relatives</a> posted at <a href="http://gradmoneymatters.com/">Grad Money Matters</a>.<br />Dianne M. Buxton presents <a href="http://manifestingsuccess.blogspot.com/2007/05/buddhas-birthday-at-gentle-barn.html">Buddha’s Birthday at The Gentle Barn</a> posted at <a href="http://manifestingsuccess.blogspot.com/">manifestingsuccess</a>.<br />Fun Playdates presents <a href="http://www.funplaydates.com/wordpress/?p=270">Flower Jewelry Craft for Kids</a> posted at <a href="http://www.funplaydates.com/wordpress">Fun Play Dates</a>.<br />Kevin presents <a href="http://www.more4kids.info/431/kids-and-money/">Kids And Money - Have Your Child Earn It</a> posted at <a href="http://www.more4kids.info/">More4kids Parenting</a>.<br />mom & dad presents <a href="http://www.raising4boys.com/2007/05/14/fire-ants-and-kids-dont-mix-plus-how-to-treat-stings/">Fire Ants and Kids Don’t Mix (Plus, How to Treat Stings)</a> posted at <a href="http://www.raising4boys.com/">raising4boys.com</a>.<br />WhyMommy presents <a href="http://toddlerplanet.wordpress.com/2007/05/19/culture-shock/">Culture Shock.</a> posted at <a href="http://toddlerplanet.wordpress.com/">Toddler Planet</a>.<br />Mama Duck presents <a href="http://lilduckduck.com/messy-party-ideas-part-2-homemade-slime/1096">Messy party ideas part 2: Homemade slime</a> posted at <a href="http://lilduckduck.com/">Lil Duck Duck</a>.<br />:: Suzanne :: presents <a href="http://adventuresindailyliving.blogspot.com/2007/05/chores.html">:: adventures in daily living ::: chores</a> posted at <a href="http://adventuresindailyliving.blogspot.com/">:: adventures in daily living ::</a>.<br />Next week’s Carnival of Family Life is going to be hosted at <a href="http://www.jhsiess.com/index.html">Colloquium</a>.<br />You can submit your entries through the <a href="http://blogcarnival.com/bc/submit_294.html">Blog Carnival’s website at this link</a>.Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-56073464739352419522007-05-20T07:55:00.001-07:002008-11-13T13:03:35.195-08:00Fancy Hair<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEwx9-JeF4Zn6NEpwi-XAxVhmNg2BnDK7ThZyJ1OIDkOfvD8Mz2j-8SSNO8H8kb_Djr3j9POKJuFn3WxpGHTwgpNvNAZnmE6IqqXPx7ev-p2GxRnvlwrGlVwmT_Iybilnzc62lOSkv3H0/s1600-h/braids3.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5066661706418155922" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEwx9-JeF4Zn6NEpwi-XAxVhmNg2BnDK7ThZyJ1OIDkOfvD8Mz2j-8SSNO8H8kb_Djr3j9POKJuFn3WxpGHTwgpNvNAZnmE6IqqXPx7ev-p2GxRnvlwrGlVwmT_Iybilnzc62lOSkv3H0/s400/braids3.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Parents always need to have a clear understanding of their strengths and weaknesses in order to remain conscious about what they do effects their kids. When Starla was about 3, I learned I cannot do hair. Some things will ever remain a mystery to me.<br /><br /><div>My poor girls. They were young when people were doing all sorts of fancy braids, flip ups, creative ponytails.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLryY2OG9BRI2eTOQ80EM5A_L7uZYkI6jpbbDsph1_68DDs6FpRfR1ouGGKOrpbpE-g3SQi0ZrVksCA9rXRq6GQEJAi8GmsIkaJMRchMroN-UbkXhlap9619cj1-2LbSWW6CXFiCt5TTs/s1600-h/braid4.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5066661616223842690" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLryY2OG9BRI2eTOQ80EM5A_L7uZYkI6jpbbDsph1_68DDs6FpRfR1ouGGKOrpbpE-g3SQi0ZrVksCA9rXRq6GQEJAi8GmsIkaJMRchMroN-UbkXhlap9619cj1-2LbSWW6CXFiCt5TTs/s200/braid4.jpg" border="0" /></a> There were fancy things to do with multiple butterfly hair clips, small bows, bands, toothed thingies, barretts. Options in our household were hair down, or in a straight ponytail. I couldn't even get the two ponytails thing right.</div><br /><div>It's not that I didn't try. They would come to me with a brush, some hair ties and frilly-dillies with a sweet trusting look on their cute little faces. Each time I would remind them of my lack of ability in this department. Each time they would assure me that I did fine and PLEEEEEASE would I just do their hair. I would. It would look awful, but they would tell me it looked grand. When I picked them up from school, the hair do would be out, hair flowing free.</div><br />Starla, Kailyb and I were at the pastry shop after our lovely time at the Farmer's market<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhliwOzA7c7pqqY9MgOg0t2vobnfZYIhlaHm9ZVsUBH3Tfhuva-NfQ-A-mD6wdiODNa2JlawDimKsJQZuHsaPqnHRbJGkB3-kHedS4rlZxgP4a-QAug8dBDNgKcgaWW0m6BFPXFZUOSi4c/s1600-h/frenchbraid.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5066662165979656626" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 175px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 127px" height="146" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhliwOzA7c7pqqY9MgOg0t2vobnfZYIhlaHm9ZVsUBH3Tfhuva-NfQ-A-mD6wdiODNa2JlawDimKsJQZuHsaPqnHRbJGkB3-kHedS4rlZxgP4a-QAug8dBDNgKcgaWW0m6BFPXFZUOSi4c/s200/frenchbraid.jpg" width="175" border="0" /></a> yesterday when I saw a little girl if about three with perfect little ponytail puffs on each side of her haid. The part was perfectly straight, and the puffs were at the perfectly matched place on each side of her cute little head. I reminded Starla of when she was young and how I could never do her hair for her and she started to laugh. She told me that sometimes the hairdo would just fall out, but that, yes, there were times when the minute she got to school and I was out of sight, she would pull it out.<br /><br /><div>Kids are so sweet. </div><br /><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Fancy Braid from </span></em><a href="www.scoutj.com/2006/01/"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">French braid from </span></em><a href="www.ehow.com/images/ehows/hero/fbhair_hero.jpg"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Cornrowing from </span></em><a href="cheryl.yachana.org/archive/2006_10_01_index.html"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a></div></div>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-75866344602418252612007-05-15T12:38:00.000-07:002008-11-13T13:03:35.465-08:00Homebirth Twilight Zone<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuIPyk5xonKDp-M0vsnXz1RAl-hGDolra9s5aXmQ1z8DEKzY-SNLIfI8TybRqscSfRmCjI8SFA1YIjcXpQQYL6TVt6d5nLVaMSQZ2hL9jCmGrnn6Vwfm7OlcoHziRq4pvuipda35gNw1I/s1600-h/econhosp1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5064901651651973714" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuIPyk5xonKDp-M0vsnXz1RAl-hGDolra9s5aXmQ1z8DEKzY-SNLIfI8TybRqscSfRmCjI8SFA1YIjcXpQQYL6TVt6d5nLVaMSQZ2hL9jCmGrnn6Vwfm7OlcoHziRq4pvuipda35gNw1I/s400/econhosp1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I was a midwife from 1980-1986. For anyone with bad math skills that's at least 25 years. The reason I say that is because I am reading homebirth blogs and I feel like I am in 1980 on one on the <a href="http://homebirthdebate.blogspot.com/">homebirth "debate."<br /></a><br />Why are the issues that we dealt then with still the issues? What's happened? Or hasn't happened?<br /><br />About midway through being a midwife, Vaginal Birth After Cesareans were just starting to be acceptable. By the time I stopped, there was hope. I thought they had become commonplace, but I now find out that it's WORSE than it was back then. WTF???<br /><br />The same bloody arguments, which we all know <a href="http://gentlebirth.org/ronnie/homesafe.html">aren't true</a>, are <strong>still </strong>be used to justify taking away a woman's right to choose the attendant and location of her birth...or at least attempting to shame her as an unfit parent, murderer or abuser. One upside is that I think it's easier to find a midwife now. I know in California you can find a midwife licensed by the state and not have to fear about anything. When I did a search online, I found a number of states that I don't remember having legal lay midwives when I was practicing. So all that's good.<br /><br />But it still sounds like all the same issues in hospital births that we railed against: constant monitors, having to lie down to give birth, increased intervention, increased C-Sections. It's depressing.<br /><br />What I would like to suggest is this. I'm thinking that if the docs are still so concerned about homebirth safety issues, that they do all they can to HELP midwives and parents have a safe one. Then they can concentrate on the women who actually WANT their services and try to provide them with good care....not the waiting for hours at each pre-natal appointment...not the insensitive care that I am hearing women talk about. Quit intervening and causing more problems. Hey...I know it gets scary being responsible for a life and that it's easier to live with yourself thinking that you did all you could do. But goshdarnit, if you can't deal with the ups and downs of birth, get the hell out and quit interfering with my daughters' choices.</div><div></div><div></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;">picture from </span></em><a href="http://www.birthingthefuture.com/AllAboutBirth/economics.php"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">here</span></em></a></div><br /><br />Find out more about pregnancy and giving <a href="http://www.cfw.tufts.edu/topic/13/178.htm">birth</a> online. Learn about the signs and <a href="http://www.medicalonline.com.au/medical/contraception/signs-of-pregnancy.htm"> symptoms of pregnancy</a> all the way the how to avoid or <a href="http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsweek/Depression_during_pregnancy_and_after_0405.htm"> treat</a> post-partum depression, even <a href="http://www.medicalonline.com.au/medical/nutrition/nutrition-facts-labels.htm"> nutrition facts</a> for expectant mothers and much more.Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-81112991547231840722007-05-13T19:30:00.000-07:002008-11-13T13:03:35.642-08:00Happy Mother's Day<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUWurJ1LevT4QZNaphKCNX4QzTS8kbjfW3Ereq-8gVx2WrZdqmMFSva3g8wB2PjVFr9CLv6nxUs5uhb5vD59EE31OmW0Zbi-OOCvVG6HFRLjkDNp_RQA1pEVjUSFKnJ22gHsf_Ccf2JQ0/s1600-h/heart.annerpino.com"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5064240072069566914" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUWurJ1LevT4QZNaphKCNX4QzTS8kbjfW3Ereq-8gVx2WrZdqmMFSva3g8wB2PjVFr9CLv6nxUs5uhb5vD59EE31OmW0Zbi-OOCvVG6HFRLjkDNp_RQA1pEVjUSFKnJ22gHsf_Ccf2JQ0/s320/heart.annerpino.com" border="0" /></a><br /><div>There is a picture book I saw when I was in my early 20's. I don't remember it's title or author/photographer. The book started with a picture of a grandfather in his prime holding his diapered baby grandson in his arms. Each page in the book was a chronicle of both growing older. The boy grew older, taller, stronger. The Grandfather grew older, shorter, weaker. By the end of the book he was in a room alone, with a diaper on. The last pictures were of the grandson holding the diapered grandfather.<br /><br />This book stays with me. It's about life.<br /><br />On this Mother's Day, I have two daugthers who have let me know that I can count on them to make sure my diapers are changed when I am an old woman....and they were even sober when they made the promise. While neither has committed to doing the job full time themselves, they let me know that if I ever get to the point of needing that kind of care, they will be there for me.<br /><br />I can think of no greater gift for a child to give a parent. I am blessed.</div><div> </div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;"><strong>Heart</strong> by </span></em><a href="http://www.annerpino.com"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Ann Erpino</span></em></a><em><span style="font-size:85%;">.</span></em></div>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-25907988712950785772007-05-10T12:25:00.000-07:002008-11-13T13:03:36.415-08:00More Letting Go.....<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQPsbP_aRsrBk-wu4JY0mlOU92CQnc1XK_R_4OfExx_V3hSut1d2XRKX-6wC9hePqxoFTd8gMwNU_hBamMndhYm2E6DZBexGv5S25PqpSZrJifse5mDNeG3FZW_uSo6fxmom_yPu-V9uc/s1600-h/eye.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5063025176145383202" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQPsbP_aRsrBk-wu4JY0mlOU92CQnc1XK_R_4OfExx_V3hSut1d2XRKX-6wC9hePqxoFTd8gMwNU_hBamMndhYm2E6DZBexGv5S25PqpSZrJifse5mDNeG3FZW_uSo6fxmom_yPu-V9uc/s400/eye.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>When Cass was young, her sisters would always tell me she was lying and making up stories. When I would listen to her I would always have these unbidden feelers go up. Something wasn't quite right here...was it a lie?.....what's going on here? I watched her, trying to figure it out. What I came up with was an intuitive hit that she wasn't lying....she just saw the world differently and so thought what she was saying was true. I tried to explain it to her sisters, but they weren't going for it. To this day, I don't know if she was or not.<br /><br />But I have carried this with me. I hold on particularly because of a couple of incidents that supported my idea.<br /><br />The most informative one was during a Christmas season. She was five and we were living in the country. Her sisters were at some function and we had to hang out around town waiting. Since we had time to kill, I asked her if she wanted to go to the mall so she could do her shopping for her sist<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsFtvJ5DbKFBtjyQfyxpmg-Trpe9ZqIm48-bfVomLllMyCq14p1SB7kPwWU0oc04fJN4D2smWl6J-dEueTPSTnOxVYAiWYaj8fhfhoibuFzsMS1tU0coXPcZGD37ekFo_00ARLgRTnoKI/s1600-h/eyerb.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5063025708721327922" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsFtvJ5DbKFBtjyQfyxpmg-Trpe9ZqIm48-bfVomLllMyCq14p1SB7kPwWU0oc04fJN4D2smWl6J-dEueTPSTnOxVYAiWYaj8fhfhoibuFzsMS1tU0coXPcZGD37ekFo_00ARLgRTnoKI/s200/eyerb.jpg" border="0" /></a>ers' presents. Her reply was that she didn't have her money with her so could we go get it. I said how about I just give her money to buy the presents for her sisters so she could save her money for something else. She told me she had forgotten her money...so please could we go get it? She didn't have it and needed it. I said I would give her money so she didn't need hers. We went back and forth like this until she got so distraught she started to cry.<br /><br />I stopped the car, looked in her eyes, told her to breathe and listen with all her ears. I said it to her in another way, in a number of ways, very slowly explaining more and more that she didn't need her money...that I would give her $10 and she could buy the presents. Then when she got home, she could have the $5 she had there. She was silent for a minute then slowly her face started to change and she smiled.<br /><br />There were other situations and stories that told me her brain processes things differently than most people. I have said repeatedly that if she is one of ten people in a room, nine people will hear roughly the same thing, but she will hear something different, then take it places internally that everyone would. I know my brain works differently than most, but our two are nowhere near each other.<br /><br />Now at 19, in her womanhood, I still carry this idea about her processing with me and get concerned for her ability to operate in her world. She has proven that she can in so many ways that go way beyond what most have done by her age....so why do I worry? It influences how I act and respond with her. I keep being vigilant in ways I no longer need to be and that are getting in the way of her feeling her independence.<br /><br />We had another incident the other day where I got nervous that she wasn't hearing things the way they were meant and that she may be jeopardizing her job. Specifically she is scheduled to work on Saturday night and is going out of town. When I said that it was nice she got it off..nice she had found a replacement, she said something that sounded odd to me. I have never heard of a system where when you want off, you just tell your fellow employees and they have to work it out. In my world you make sure it's covered, you tell the boss, you write it on the schedule or have something written down. But when I mentioned I had never heard of that, she got pissy and kindly asked me to not ask her questions anymore. I learned that when I ask, feels she has to "answer t<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5i4DhS5jGyZ-s0-f3A_uONBZItTAPDdHObmAOtranRfjoKx5hwlEifLXKnYRa9xe_b9qzn2b4kwcNhH0FPS_CV47VL09ebyb-3s3BGab-LugiwKSEPeeLiWAsPqzrFNzreVQWS6y-pEs/s1600-h/Letting%2520go.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5063032288611225410" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5i4DhS5jGyZ-s0-f3A_uONBZItTAPDdHObmAOtranRfjoKx5hwlEifLXKnYRa9xe_b9qzn2b4kwcNhH0FPS_CV47VL09ebyb-3s3BGab-LugiwKSEPeeLiWAsPqzrFNzreVQWS6y-pEs/s200/Letting%2520go.jpg" border="0" /></a>o me." I was happy to have the opportunity to remind her I have no investment in her doing anything for me. Ick. I just get concerned for her.<br /><br />And I am learning. Even though her sisters wanted my gentle wisdom, my ideas, my experience, it doesn't means she does or has to. She's made it clear she wants none of it unless she asks for it. While she acknowledges and feels my questions are "sweet" (her words), for where she is right now, she would appreciate if I keep them to myself. </div><div> </div><div>OK.</div><br /><br /><div></div><div><span style="font-size:85%;"><em><strong>Eye of the Beholder</strong> taken from </em></span><a href="http://www.gallery.photo.net"><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>here </em></span></a></div><div><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>Rainbow eye (my name for it) from </em></span><a href="http://www.crystalinks.com/eyerb.jpg"><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>here.</em></span></a></div><div><span style="font-size:85%;"><em><strong>Letting Go</strong> from </em></span><a href="blogspace.mweb.co.za/.../Letting%20go.jpg"><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>here</em></span></a></div>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4329663694558765559.post-20432836962292288162007-05-08T09:46:00.000-07:002008-11-13T13:03:36.875-08:00Teens and Sex<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpSB9pgdSMJkBlWqCPtychQ9mc3Vd83NZi9Ac2OKqnCrtqKj8bNzH1R-TRMkS6gay9creCiyaNO0_bMNnRDci-nb6jqJnzmAxD9Wj-Y751sNm9IQM9U6k_uCMjmfPWF2FavyZHZzruP2A/s1600-h/virginklimt.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5062255359092149970" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpSB9pgdSMJkBlWqCPtychQ9mc3Vd83NZi9Ac2OKqnCrtqKj8bNzH1R-TRMkS6gay9creCiyaNO0_bMNnRDci-nb6jqJnzmAxD9Wj-Y751sNm9IQM9U6k_uCMjmfPWF2FavyZHZzruP2A/s400/virginklimt.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Cass took a Sociology of Sexuality class in college last semester. This is interesting, I says to myself...what a pleasant surprise. At the beginning of the class, they were to write a paper on things that influenced their sexuality. Part of the paper was to talk about how their parents' views on sex impacted them. She asked me to proof her paper so I got to see a piece of how she sees herself.<br /><br />She felt that she had an odd experience growing up because her parents came from totally opposite perspectives in the sexual realm. Her perception of us is that her father is a Christian and says that sex is only OK in marriage. Her mother (that would be me), on the other hand, will sleep anything with a hole or protuberance (animal, vegetable, mineral, human) walking down the street whether she knows them/it or not. That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but not much. I thought that really interesting.<br /><br />Cass is somewhere in the middle of her perceptions of her parents. She says that she has to feel a strong connection with her partners, but she doesn't really need to be "in love." All things "Cass" are about balance. She wants, above all, to have that in her life. Gotta love her.<br /><br />I was always very open with my girls, tried to support them having a healthy relationship with their bodies and sex. I suggested they wait until they felt safe, and to only participate if <em>they</em> wanted to. I offered to help them get birth control and condoms and told them they could be sexual in the house but this did not give their friends license to use my house for sex.<br /><br />In their own ways they have each communicated to me in random conversations that they are very careful in their safe sex practices. I don't know if kids whose parents have a "just say no" policy are as careful...statistics and my experience would suggest not. I do know that visiting friends from the homes of the strictest parents were the ones I had to watch the closest. When their parents were not around they went nuts in an open, respectful, trusting environment. They could not handle the responsibility of their own bodies and all did very self-destructive things.<br /><br />I could be, and initially was, afraid that my girls would be physically or emotionall hurt...that they might get pregnant or a fatal STD. But I trust that if young people are given the power to control their own lives and are given information they will use it wisely. Teens are far from stupid. They want to live, they want to succeed, they want to be happy. Even at the age of 13.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-0SlVL0i8KTvZPxXss8ytgQ2C5dKYHmE_yI9U8u4dB8XgEl1YEtU44hgjwYqAgsKZ8qHEE_lbcqMZM6zFGOVJYRmY-ktTmAypSzgFksRZN8gNVohj5Um_yuUe6YtnB5zcUl9oUyf6vwQ/s1600-h/pelissier_dance_thumb.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5062255045559537346" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-0SlVL0i8KTvZPxXss8ytgQ2C5dKYHmE_yI9U8u4dB8XgEl1YEtU44hgjwYqAgsKZ8qHEE_lbcqMZM6zFGOVJYRmY-ktTmAypSzgFksRZN8gNVohj5Um_yuUe6YtnB5zcUl9oUyf6vwQ/s200/pelissier_dance_thumb.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />When a parent provides a controlling wall in the teen years, the wall and the parental construction and maintanance becomes the issue rather than the subject itself. If you tell a kid not to have sex, then you give them a cause, something to fight so that they can assert themselves and show themselves and the parent that they are independent. If you remove the artificial wall and replace it with unconditional love and a safe space for young people to get information, you make it their responsibility to make informed conscious decisions. They have nothing and no one outside of themselves to "blame," nothing to fight, no wall to butt up against. Life brings them their lessons from their choices. It's all about them, not the fight.<br /><br />I understand that parents provide walls and try to control out of fear. I know it's hard to trust that our children will be guided and be OK. I understand it's one of the most difficult tasks in life to watch them go through something that is painful or may be dangerous for them. I know what it's like. I have been there, spending many nights crying, fretting, worrying for my girls who I<br />adore more <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYS5Mm3RxgsUgHsUHSWw-6gOH6d-kFcYpSzRsPCpRZXV5mslF24TwpB0INzz7fY1wmcq-boVYkSI5girRgQzh9fwfkIYrA31GzrcwsXoAQ_ASmiiTU3gqdFI2YN0eFyZQ9HBEHxnVDLFY/s1600-h/moongoddessdiana.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5062256179430903522" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYS5Mm3RxgsUgHsUHSWw-6gOH6d-kFcYpSzRsPCpRZXV5mslF24TwpB0INzz7fY1wmcq-boVYkSI5girRgQzh9fwfkIYrA31GzrcwsXoAQ_ASmiiTU3gqdFI2YN0eFyZQ9HBEHxnVDLFY/s200/moongoddessdiana.bmp" border="0" /></a>than anything in the world. I want them safe. I want to protect them.<br /><br />But the thing is...I can't. Because even when I do everything "right" I have no control whatsoever over another's life. When we try to control anyone we usually create that which we fear the most. So while finding a dildo might freak out many parents of an eighteen year old, it made me very happy when I found one in one of my girls' bedrooms. I would have been happy if she was fifteen. I am happy she and her sisters feel good in their bodies. Each chose a different route of expression, but I never hear any of them feeling hurt or shame or emotional damage. And in this day and age of mixed messages about sex (dress like a slut, but never "do it.") and the total confusion it gives kids, that's Big.<br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;"><strong>Divine Dancers</strong> by </span></em><a href="www.haitianart.com"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Henry Pellisier</span></em></a></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;"><strong>The Virgin</strong> by </span></em><a href="www.artinthepicture.com/paintings/view.php?nr=478"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Gustav Klimt</span></em></a></div><div><em><span style="font-size:85%;"><strong>Moon Goddess Diana</strong> by </span></em><a href="http://www.allposters.com"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Howard David Johnson</span></em></a></div>Pammhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06477802300642722133noreply@blogger.com9