The Fresh Air Fund...Good Stuff

I was recently emailed by a kind woman who turned me onto a program which looks wonderful. It's called The Fresh Air Fund. From their press release:

In 2008, The Fresh Air Fund's Volunteer Host Family Program, called Friendly Town, gave close to 5,000 New York City boys and girls, ages six to 18, free summer experiences in the country and the suburbs. Volunteer host families shared their friendship and homes for two weeks or more in 13 Northeastern states from Virginia to Maine and Canada.

They are in need of host families for this year. Please go visit their site and if you feel so inclined, and live in the designated region, please consider opening your heart and home to a child for a few weeks this summer.

Thanks!

Wellll....

I've always said I should get a government grant to study the obvious: breastfeeding's good for kids, sugar and fake sugar aren't. If your child has repeat ear infections, perhaps you might want to look at food allergies instead of antibiotics.

And now here's another Captain Obvious one. It appears that now it's true that having kids puts a strain on a relationship. Now we know that. Finally.

Geez.....


Here's the article in case it goes away:

livescience.com – Wed Apr 8, 3:20 pm ET

Parents all know that children make it harder to do some of the most enjoyable adult things. Bluntly put, kids can get between you.

Now scientists have attached some numbers to the situation.

An eight-year study of 218 couples found 90 percent experienced a decrease in marital satisfaction once the first child was born.

"Couples who do not have children also show diminished marital quality over time," says Scott Stanley, research professor of psychology at University of Denver. "However, having a baby accelerates the deterioration, especially seen during periods of adjustment right after the birth of a child."

An unrelated study in 2006 of 13,000 people found parents are more depressed than non-parents. Scientists speculate that the problem is partly a modern one, because parents don't get as much help at home as they did in previous generations.

There are key variables to note in the new study.

Couples who lived together before marriage experienced more problems after the birth of a child than those who lived separately before marriage, as did those whose parents fought or divorced.

However, some couples said their relationships were stronger post-birth. They tended to have been married longer or had higher incomes.

Children don't ruin everything, Stanley points out.

"There are different types of happiness in life and that while some luster may be off marital happiness for at least a time during this period of life, there is a whole dimension of family happiness and contentment based on the family that couples are building," he said. "This type of happiness can be powerful and positive but it has not been the focus of research."

The new research, funded by a grant to the University of Denver from the National Institutes of Health, is detailed in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

LiveScience Staff

LiveScience.com livescience Staff

Do You Care About Your Kid's Food? You Should!

Your future food depends on it. Not kidding. You think the price of food is high now? Do you like that your foods can be genetically modified and no one has to even TELL you about it, no labelling required? Do you care if you have food options? If these bills go through, we're totally screwed.

Last year I read this article in Vanity Fair about Monsanto's despicable practices of sueing small seed coops and family farmers for selling and planting GMO soybeans in violation of their patent. Even though they are innocent, Monsanto is going after them big time to, basically, put them out of business. It goes like this: if you plant their seeds even ONCE, you have to forever because of the possibility of cross contamination infringing upon their patent. I'm not sure if people know about this, but it's been brewing for a long time. Here is a short filmclip that sums up their intent to get control of the world's food supply by controlling the seeds. Their ethics are pretty clearly shown in their history. They used to make PCB's and Agent Orange and manipulated research of their toxicity. 'Nuff said.



It now appears that Representative Rosa L. DeLauro (D - CT) has sponsored Food Safety Modernization Act of 2009 HR875. The corresponding senate bill is S425. There are 39 big agribusiness co-sponsors of these bills. Monsanto, Cargill, Tyson are all in there. Rep. DeLauro's husband has Monsanto as a client. She received $180k in donations from agribusiness PAC's. She is also pals with Rahm Emanuel (white house chief of staff).

This bill will make organic farming obsolete by ordering the small farmers what to feed their animals, how to medically treat their animals, what toxic sprays to use on their farms. It would criminalize all aspects of organic vegetable farms by making them "sources of seed contamination." (of Monsanto's GMO seeds...tricksy, yes?). Farming would be industrialized and forced, by fines of up to $500,000, to comply with the law.



It appears we have about two weeks to make sure this doesn't happen. I truly believe in the power of the internet. Please spread the word and ACT!!!

From The Library of Congress, Thomas Collection

111th Congress, House of Representatives H.R.875
Food Safety Modernization Act of 2009
http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/z?c111:H.R.875:

111th Congress, U.S. Senate S425
The Food Safety and Tracking Improvement Act
http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/z?c111:S.425:

Your Elected Representatives

House of Representatives
http://www.house.gov

United States Senate
http://www.senate.gov

Call these folks and give them hell, tell them to have HR875 and S425 withdrawn from both floors of Congress Immediately.

(202)-224-3121

Holding Kids Back A Grade

My oldest grandson is five. He's bright. He's ready to read and does math exercises by himself all the time. He wants this, it's not being forced upon him.

He goes to a Waldorf school.

I understand the importance of developing slowly and surely. I understand laying the groundwork. But/and I have a difficult time when "rules" are applied across the board without giving consideration for the unique child at hand. This appears to be what's happening to him, at least to me.

The teacher has suggested he repeat kindergarten. She's a gentle soul. I know she wants only the best for these kids.

Her reasons: He is a male child and males develop six months behind girls. They want the kids to hit age 7 while in first grade and since his birthday is in August, he won't be 7. With these two considerations combined, she feels it's best that he stay another year.

My daughter listened and thought those good reasons. She asked my grandson and he thought it a good idea.

I thought it not a good idea.

I pointed out that give who he is and his learning readiness, he would be bored as time went on. I suggested that while I want to honor childrens' decisions about the trajectory of their lives, he could not grasp what the reality of him staying put while his classmates moved on would be. I reminded her that she and her sisters had all gotten disgusted with high school and that none of the three of them had finished it in the traditional way. Did she want to subject him to another year of school on the other end?

I am fully in support of not pushing kids who aren't ready to be pushed. But it's a balance.

Years ago, his mother's pre-school teachers all suggested I put her directly into first grade. I didn't care, didn't have an ego need for this for her. I could see she was more than ready and was listening to them, but as she was my first I was on new ground. I had a meeting with the principal, told him what I had been told. He decided I was operating from a pushing position and refused to do it. I watched his mother, my daughter, be the Teacher's aide her whole school career. I listened to her teachers in every grade school year tell me she should not be there, that she was so beyond where the other kids were.

I'm happy the school system got an aide and got paid to have her there. My daughter survived and has no long lasting pervasive psychological damage as a result of it :). Essentially it's not that big of a deal as, truthfully?...I think school important, but more for socialization. Most of the successful people I know didn't do all that well acdemically in school. Many of those who did aren't the most successful, happiest people (by far). I look at school as more social training than anything else, which is why grades were never an issue in our household. If and when a child wants to learn something, they will learn it.

After much discussion and pondering, my daughter has decided to not keep him back. I think that in the long run he will be happier. And we like it when he's happy.

image taken from here

Trusting Teens Part 2

You can read the background as to what touched this off here.

Why is it suddenly like there are more pedophiles today than before? If pedophiles weren't around in the 50's, 60's and 70's, then why were so many of my friends molested when they were younger? I know dozens of women (and a few men) who had their trust violated by family, parent's friends, priests, teachers.

I would like to suggest that it was even more dangerous before because it wasn't acknowledged so the kids had no protection..and how scary is that? If a child reported it, they were silenced, not believed, discounted...by doctors, priests, teachers, family members, even their mothers. You think that would happen now? Any licensed person who even suspects abuse reports it quick, fast and in a hurry. That wasn't the case when I was young.

Most molesting happens with people already known and trusted. Controlling your child's texting or online activity won't help that. Education, being present to your child and building self esteem will.

Yes, we now have the internet. But if your child is online doing stuff that's self destructive, it says to me there's something else going on there besides just being coerced into something. It says to me that they've either been so sheltered that they haven't a clue, haven't been educated as to their possible vulnerabilities, or have been so controlled they'll find any way to be independent...even if it's self destructive.

When a kid (or anyone, actually) gets into these situations, it says to me that they have lost the ability to discern when something feels "off." They aren't listening to their inner signals. But isn't that what we are trying to foster as parents..that inner voice that our children learn to trust and guide them through life?

Teens are going to make mistakes. We adults make plenty of 'em. Sometimes their mistakes will be big ones and we will wish we had controlled them more in the mistaken belief that somehow we could have prevented this or that.

But we can't. Life isn't like that and we don't live in cages. If my dad had known one quarter of what I'd done, he would have had many more heart attacks than he did. My (now in their 20's) kids have told me stuff they did that I'm so happy I never knew about. Like...traveling alone in Germany at age 17 and getting on the wrong train...which stopped in the middle of nowhere and she had to walk back to the station on the tracks. Or...at age 19 in China taking a 23 hour train trip alone to sightsee the wonders of that country...going out on the town with some rowdies and ending up in some hotel room at another point on that trip. Yup...it's a scary world out there. If I had known what they were doing beforehand I would have flipped out. These are some of their best, most exciting memories. They've built confidence inside my girls. I would never want to take that away from them.

Do we really want to? Do we want our children to live full, interesting, exciting lives or do we want them to be "safe?" Is life about always being small or is it to be lived BIG? They can walk out the door with all in place, cell phone monitored, good grades, we know exactly where they are while riding their bike to school...and a car hits them and they die. It happens.

We cannot control Life.

And in the meantime, it's about trust...in our kids, in their ability to be responsible to the best of their ability. And then we have to turn it over to....whatever: their angels, God, the process, fate, whatever....

From two of the wisest Teachers I've encountered (not the exact conversation, but the essence):

He: I promised Nemo that I would never let anything happen to him!!!

She: Well...that's kind of a funny thing to promise.

He: Why?

She: Well...if nothing ever happens to him, then nothing ever happens.