Migraines And The Magic Man

Since my teens, I've always been intrigued with alternative holistic healthcare. I got trained as a massage therapist at age 19, took herbs, became a vegetarian. I started studying midwifery at age 23 and learned about all sorts of alternative modalities. I will use an allopath, and think they are vital for things such as broken bones, infections, emergency treatments. But for day to day stuff, cumulative prophylactic stuff, I avoid them.

My kids hardly ever went to allopathic doctors growing up. Because I was new at being a parent and didn't know any better, my oldest daughter started to get the routine physicals, but that didn't last long. My younger two kids didn't even see MD's except if I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Or if I deemed they needed a perscription. They never had antibiotics until they were in their teens. If they got colds, it was herbs, and remedies. They lived. If my kids had something I couldn't figure out how to treat or if I wanted help, I took them to acupuncturists, chiropractors and naturopaths.

Cass, my youngest, however, developed a bad allergy to dairy. She also started to get really bad headaches. As I had no reference for them, and one was particularly strong, I got scared about an aneurysm or tumor so took her into a MD. She got all sorts of tests and had an MRI to rule out my concerns. They convinced me to put her on antibiotics to clear her sinuses (that had been plugged beyondbeyond from the allergy). But the headaches persisted intermittently through early high school.

I had been going to a chiropractor who practices by using Applied Kinesiology. He not only muscle tests the organs, joints, ligaments, muscles and bones to see what's involved in a particular complaint, but then also tests to find out exactly HOW it's out of whack. The adjustments vary depending on what's wrong. For instance, instead of just adjusting C4 the same way all the time, he would change the maneuver depending on if it was out to the right, the left, pushed in, sticking out, etc.

Whereas other chiropractors will take months of adjusments with varying degress of success in treatment, I only have to go to him a few times and I'm fixed. Once I did a major rib/spine thing while boating but couldn't get to him for months after. After I finally limped in, I was completely healed within about five sessions, free of pain after the first.

He is a Magic Man.

So I decided to take Cass to him for the headaches. He muscle tested this and that, did a few things here and there, then announced that it was her ileocecal valve (the valve between the small and large intestines) that needed adjustment. He did it. She had no more headaches.

I'm telling you this man is magic.

So...time rolls on. It's now five or so years later. Cass would have a headache from time to time that incapacitated her, making her vomit and putting her out of commission for awhile. But they were few and far between. Then about eight months ago, they increased in frequency. Then about March, they increased to the point of about once every two weeks. I kinda spaced the Magic Man. Then by May, it was every four days or so. I finally remembered.

About three weeks ago, I sent her to Magic Man. She went for one session and got the ileocecal valve and some stuff in her neck adjusted. Then a week later, she went for a followup so he was sure it had stuck. She hasn't had an inkling of a headache since then.

I'll say it one more time: this man is magic.

I appreciate allopathy, but not for stuff like this. If I was to tell an allopathic physician that a man adjusted my daughter's ileocecal valve to fix a migraine, he would have laughed at the hocus pocus voodoo beliefs I have. There is a good chance it would be ignored and shrugged off as anecdotally insignificant. It may be, but I find it very interesting that it worked twice in her life. I also find it interesting that in both the Chinese and Aryuvedic systems of healing, when a headache presents, they work on the digestive system for treatment. And...Cass also reports that the first sign of her headaches is a stomach ache. When she gets them she knows to not eat because she will just end up throwing up.

Why isn't this significant to allopathy? Watching her when she's in the middle of one of those headaches and hearing the way migraines affect lives, I can't believe that someone wouldn't at least try to find an Applied Kinesiology practitioner who could help them for so little money and time investment.

Wikipedia says it's a "pseudoscience," and says that chiropractors are not supposed to offer Applied Kinesiology. I hate that stuff. It amuses me no end that I watch TV and see endless commercials of drugs that have deadly side effects, but try and do something that is not harmful at all and everyone's up in arms. Because of this attitude, I will continue to use allopaths for things mentioned above. I'm glad they're around for what they're good for. In fact, they were crucial to saving my middle daughter's life because of an emergency she was in. But if I or anyone who asks my opinion, has a problem that's not of an acute nature or needs one of their prescriptions, I will continue to avoid the allopathic medical community like the plague.

Images:

Migraine from here

Muscle Testing from here

Teens and Sex

Cass took a Sociology of Sexuality class in college last semester. This is interesting, I says to myself...what a pleasant surprise. At the beginning of the class, they were to write a paper on things that influenced their sexuality. Part of the paper was to talk about how their parents' views on sex impacted them. She asked me to proof her paper so I got to see a piece of how she sees herself.

She felt that she had an odd experience growing up because her parents came from totally opposite perspectives in the sexual realm. Her perception of us is that her father is a Christian and says that sex is only OK in marriage. Her mother (that would be me), on the other hand, will sleep anything with a hole or protuberance (animal, vegetable, mineral, human) walking down the street whether she knows them/it or not. That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but not much. I thought that really interesting.

Cass is somewhere in the middle of her perceptions of her parents. She says that she has to feel a strong connection with her partners, but she doesn't really need to be "in love." All things "Cass" are about balance. She wants, above all, to have that in her life. Gotta love her.

I was always very open with my girls, tried to support them having a healthy relationship with their bodies and sex. I suggested they wait until they felt safe, and to only participate if they wanted to. I offered to help them get birth control and condoms and told them they could be sexual in the house but this did not give their friends license to use my house for sex.

In their own ways they have each communicated to me in random conversations that they are very careful in their safe sex practices. I don't know if kids whose parents have a "just say no" policy are as careful...statistics and my experience would suggest not. I do know that visiting friends from the homes of the strictest parents were the ones I had to watch the closest. When their parents were not around they went nuts in an open, respectful, trusting environment. They could not handle the responsibility of their own bodies and all did very self-destructive things.

I could be, and initially was, afraid that my girls would be physically or emotionall hurt...that they might get pregnant or a fatal STD. But I trust that if young people are given the power to control their own lives and are given information they will use it wisely. Teens are far from stupid. They want to live, they want to succeed, they want to be happy. Even at the age of 13.


When a parent provides a controlling wall in the teen years, the wall and the parental construction and maintanance becomes the issue rather than the subject itself. If you tell a kid not to have sex, then you give them a cause, something to fight so that they can assert themselves and show themselves and the parent that they are independent. If you remove the artificial wall and replace it with unconditional love and a safe space for young people to get information, you make it their responsibility to make informed conscious decisions. They have nothing and no one outside of themselves to "blame," nothing to fight, no wall to butt up against. Life brings them their lessons from their choices. It's all about them, not the fight.

I understand that parents provide walls and try to control out of fear. I know it's hard to trust that our children will be guided and be OK. I understand it's one of the most difficult tasks in life to watch them go through something that is painful or may be dangerous for them. I know what it's like. I have been there, spending many nights crying, fretting, worrying for my girls who I
adore more than anything in the world. I want them safe. I want to protect them.

But the thing is...I can't. Because even when I do everything "right" I have no control whatsoever over another's life. When we try to control anyone we usually create that which we fear the most. So while finding a dildo might freak out many parents of an eighteen year old, it made me very happy when I found one in one of my girls' bedrooms. I would have been happy if she was fifteen. I am happy she and her sisters feel good in their bodies. Each chose a different route of expression, but I never hear any of them feeling hurt or shame or emotional damage. And in this day and age of mixed messages about sex (dress like a slut, but never "do it.") and the total confusion it gives kids, that's Big.

Divine Dancers by Henry Pellisier

The Virgin by Gustav Klimt

Moon Goddess Diana by Howard David Johnson

Two Guys Sitting On A Couch

Starla tells me a story about her husband and three year old son, Kailyb, doing their guy thing they do. They are sitting next to each other on a couch, both playing with their computers (Dad's a laptop, Kailyb's a toy).

Kailyb says "Hey, Dad..we are both sitting on the couch, both using our computers and we both have penises."

Yup. Reminds me of when his Mom was three. I had just finished teaching a Childbirth Class and a number of the couples were still there in our living room. She walked in, sat on the couch, lifted her skirt, spread her legs and proudly announced and pointed out to everyone there: "See, I have a clitoris!"

Hear Pachelbel's Canon in the background while we all float around in a field of happy flowers and a Cate-Blanchette-as-Galadriel voice says: Wouldn't it be nice if we kept that open, innocent way of being with our bodies and sex?