My Birth Stories

But not my birth pictures*.....

Starla's Birth

I was not in tune with my body at all. As I had been anorexic awhile in high school, I had a history of missed periods. So when I got pregnant with her, I was such a ditz, I didn't even think pregnancy a consideration. My breasts changed, my nipples were darker. But it wasn't until my sixth month when I got back from a hitchhiking trip with my husband and was lying in bed, put my hand on my belly and felt a big bump and said..hm...it's either a baby or I have cancer.

We got drunk the next afternoon when we got the positive pregnancy test back. I was a smoker and a drinker that pregnancy. My first question was "how the hell does one even BE pregnant in this country? (meaning what were the steps in getting a doctor, and all the basic life skills it involved). Like I said...not that connected....and I will now add not tremendously conscious.

It didn't seem like I was pregnant too long (well...because I wasn't conscious of it too long). The labor was short and intense. We had just gotten back from a road trip down south the night before. I was almost asleep when I felt pressure, jumped out of bed as my bag of waters popped. Five hours later she was born.

But only after and incredibly intense labor in the hospital. First time labors, from three centimeters dialation (when active labor generally sets in...10cm is called complete) until delivery, are on average about eight hours. I was three when I got into the hospital. It was so fast, no one even paid attention to me because they thought I was still in labor. They did give me an enema (yes....those were still done in '79) which really made it kick in.

I was puking with every contraction. Lovely. My husband was completely freaked out as we had only attended a couple of classes (we were "officially" early given the obstetrician assigned due date) and he felt lost with how intense it was. It got pretty funny when they realized I was complete and pushing when they thought I was still at 4 centimeters dialation.

As I had never seen a baby born before, when she came out all bluish pink and covered in goo, quiet, I remember thinking...oh....that's sad...she's dead. But she wasn't. She pinked right up. Three minutes after she was born, the doctor decided the placenta needed to be out, so he vigorously massaged my uterus. It was so forceful that tons of blood splashed all over him and the wall. After the birth, I shook violently.

When everything calmed down and we were alone, she looked into my eyes and we stared for a long time. I cried. This was a very old, very wise soul. I was in love. I will never forget that moment.

Morgan's Birth

I had been a midwife for a number of years. I was not smoking. We had kindasorta been talking about maybe having another kid but were still using birth control. One time we had protected sex and three days later I knew I was pregnant. I had quit smoking years before, didn't drink. I ate really well, took care of myself.

Four of my midwife friends were my attendants at my homebirth. The day I went into labor was a planned "take out a tree stump day," so that is where my husband's focus was. I had been having practice contractions for weeks. That day, I had a contraction that would catch my attention, then not have one for a half hour. Have two then have none forever. I felt like it was labor day, but was totally confused as to when that might be. I called my friends to let them

know to be ready, but wasn't ready for them to come over yet.

It went on like this until the afternoon. Then I was ready, even though I wasn't really having many contractions and they weren't very strong. I told everyone to come over. My friend and midwife partner, Jean, checked me...I was at 6cm. I told her "break the fucking bag." She did. I had about ten stronger contractions...still far apart. Then I puked. I had ten more contractions, puking a bit more each time. Then Morgan came quietly into the world. No crying. Nursed, happy, calm, sweet with her sister and father right there. I shook violently after the birth.

The midwives made us a meal, cleaned my house and left us a happy family.

Cassidy's Birth

I had always been in charge of birth control. Because I could always tell where I was in my cycle by my cervical mucous, part of my system was to not have sex when I was getting close to ovulating. One marginal mucous Saturday morning, Patrick wanted to fuck. I thought it unwise, but he persisted. I told him, fine but he had to wear a condom. It fell off.

I spent the whole weekend "talking" with her spirit. Finally, I told her that if she wanted to come in, I was ready to be her Mom. I felt myself ovulate the next day. I felt her enter me.

All during Cass' pregnancy, I kept thinking I didn't want any attendants at the birth. I wanted to do it alone, preferably in some field. I have no idea where these thoughts came from but they persisted. However...the day of her birth it was a zoo. We had the Starla and Morgan, my husband, four midwife friends, one extra trusted friend to be a care person to be there for a very young Morgan, and two extra midwives' kids. I spent most of the time in the bathroom or the bedroom, requiring the door to be shut. No one allowed in. It felt like my cave.

I had putsyputsy labor with her, too. But then I kicked into an active labor pattern for a few hours. I puked. I stayed in my hovel until the very end. I wanted it dark, required everyone to be quiet. I felt like an animal. Hers was the first birth I did on all fours. She came out with her arms wrapped close up on her chest so that when her shoulders cleared, her arms were out, embracing the world before the rest of her body came in between contractions. After the birth I shook violently.

She wouldn't open her eyes, though....kept them closed tightly. I asked for more privacy, but there was definitely was tons of noise in the house behind that door. Eventually we had to move into the living room for them to clean up the birthing bed. We stayed in a chair until everyone left. Starla, Morgan and Patrick were all asleep when the final midwife left. As the door clicked shut, Cass' eyes opened. And stayed open for quite some time looking into mine in the stillness of the night.

*Photo credits from top down

Pregnant Belly from Organic Baby Style

Hospital Bed from Istockphoto

Homebirth picture from Minnesota Families For Midwifery

Homebirth baby in hanging cloth scale from River and Mountain Women's Health

Mother and Child on Bed from BirthSpirit