Seeing
I am remembering a time with Morgan. She was a junior in high school (wow..not that long ago, really). She was taking way too many classes, was working and volunteering. All this means she was way over extended. Stress was the order of the day.
And as such, as in all living situations where we feel safe enough to be mean, she was being a major bitch most of the time.
One day, I remember being at her bedroom door. For whatever reason, she was having a teen temper tantrum. Immediately I felt my walls go up. I started to engage. Then I looked at my baby. I went inside her to what was underneath the yelling. I flashed on what I feel like when I feel what she was acting out.
I breathed, I looked at her and I asked: "Do you need a hug?"
Stop.
She catches her breath, looks shocked, her eyes burning into mine. I see her body twitch, her face contort as she breaks into sobs. I held her for a long long time until she was done.
I wish I could remember the power of seeing deeper in every situation where people are acting in ways that scream pain.
And as such, as in all living situations where we feel safe enough to be mean, she was being a major bitch most of the time.
One day, I remember being at her bedroom door. For whatever reason, she was having a teen temper tantrum. Immediately I felt my walls go up. I started to engage. Then I looked at my baby. I went inside her to what was underneath the yelling. I flashed on what I feel like when I feel what she was acting out.
I breathed, I looked at her and I asked: "Do you need a hug?"
Stop.
She catches her breath, looks shocked, her eyes burning into mine. I see her body twitch, her face contort as she breaks into sobs. I held her for a long long time until she was done.
I wish I could remember the power of seeing deeper in every situation where people are acting in ways that scream pain.
image borrowed from Theoloblog
3 comments:
You are a powerful mother
Isn't it just the case? When we are most needing to be loved and nurtured we behave in ways that make people want to run for cover or strangle us. It's a compassionate gift when we are able to look inside the pain and see the person crying out for love.
Warrior- Thanks.
Hello, Adrienne- it is. We are only human. And it gets really touchy when both are in that space...it's then very difficult for one to overcome this and step outside themselves to remember that both are in huge pain.
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